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Monday, August 30, 2004

The introduction

This is the first official post for the "groteskberg" blog, so ya better warm up a new pair of pants.
This blog will mostly focus on my thoughts
...and of course other topics.
I imagine I'll talk about Minnesota sports, movies, music, and current events and ,of course, the campaign.

I'm running for president with my old boss at the liquor store, Sean D.
We'll win, dont worry.
Yeah, we may not be rich, and powerful, and we may be lacking in the 'who you know' part, but whatever. We just need about 220 million people to write my name in the ballot.

no prob man!

The GOP is holding a party, that should be a enough to write about for awhile.
They know about morality by the way!
I plan on resurecting the crap list from our bad-ass college radio station.
I haven't figured out which day, but my sources (me) believe it will be a Monday thing.
So to start out, here is the First Grotesktom craplist!

1. liberals, conservatives, Republicans, and Democrats.
You all make me sick! Ya'll act more immature than me at a woodshop class. Whenever a conservative says one thing strange, Libs are like
"YOU GUN TOATIN'-CREED-LOVING GOD BOY!" and then a news station will have a story on riots at the GOP convention (who would've thought there'd be riots at a GOP convention) and conservatives are like,
Just grow up people! It's a total shame how we just can't just dissagree, snort a kilo, and go home!
2. My damn car!
Anyone want a beautiful '90 Regal? Otherwise I'm going to aquaint it with my baseball bat and other choice 'tools of destruction' just like in that old arcade game, 'Final Fight'. This summer in Sodak, I had this P.O.S. car and we (at the Forest Service) were almost taking bets as to what'll fall off the Regal the next week.
No one won anything. I mean how is one supposed to guess that the cover to the catalytic converter will fall off one day or the panaling to the drivers' side door will fall off?
The Ol' Man told me today that I should take better care of my car!
Yeah right dad, how many people do you know with a '90 Regal in mint condition! Pfff you should've took better care of your damn '78 Chevy where you could watch the road go by just by looking at the floorboard!
3. Doctors that you just can't seem to trust.
I went to get my eyes checked at a new eye doctor (new insurance policy) and this dude said my eyes were crap.
What a revalation that was!
Then he's selling me glasses that were $700 before insurance kicks in.
I remember paying my glasses in full at other places for around $200.
So I said,
"Screw this man, I'm just goin blind. It's probably cheaper"
4. Adam Kennedy
This guy could be the all time home run champ if he just played the Twins 162 times a year in Anahiem. This is the same guy that found a way to pull 3 homers outta his cloaca during game 5 of the ALCS in 2001. Kennedy is lucky if he hits 10 homers in a year. It would be like Luis Rivas going off against the White Sox for a trio of homers!
Unthinkable and irritating.
5. This last week of summer.
Lets face it, this is the last week of summer. Once schools open up (or at least they used to) after Labor day, the weather hits and ya get that sinking feeling. The beautiful days of summer have been replaced by the dark, dreary, beetle filled days of Autumn.
yeah, it's just plain ol' crap man!

There's the first crap list! Feel free to make additions by emailing me at at

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