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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

All Hail Pat Borders!

(Low down, mo town, HOL-I-DAY INN.)

Last nights Twins game was definitely one of those magical Aug/Sept games that always come with a division title run. Last year we had it with that psycho bunt/throwing error by (the angels?). Yeah it was crazy, we were down by two runs in the bottom of the ninth when the Angels (or maybe it was the WSox) screwed up. Anyway it was crazy. Last night the Twins were out of bullpen help. They were actually warming up old man Mulholland, tonights starting pitcher!

I had the radio on at work when the Dazzleman sounded like he was spontaneously combusting to Hunter’s three run, walk-off homer. However, I do appreciate the passion and what may be considered ‘unprofessional’ yelling. Just like Paul Allen’s take on the Hail Mary, just-the-vikes-luck, touchdown.

It’s what we were all thinking at the time though! Well, with some other choice words of course!

Going back on the Twins though, their ticket to the playoffs came yesterday when they acquired 41 year old catcher, Pat Borders. You would think that Borders would have some Minnesota ties knowing the history of the Twins and St. Paul natives in thier 40's. I went through extensive research and found that he in fact has no ties to Minnesota except that he used to play them. Maybe he has a friend, who has a friend, that came here for a Lynx game.

Survey says, probably not.

Maybe it’s a new direction the Twins will go in now! Maybe we’ll try and pry Candy Maldonado out of retirement! Now that Joe Nathan is injured it just paves the way for Duane Ward to step in and finish his illustrious career that has just been hampered by…well, who knows what. Then there’s Joe Carter and Ed Sprague! Oh and lets not forget,
lets NOT forget Juan Guzman who always had the Twins number!

Actually, I would much rather have a 41 year old Pat Borders behind the plate catching than the softball keg man, Lecroy or even prettyboy Piazza.

Speaking of which, what a puzzle that is, trying to find somewhere to play Piazza. IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE of all leagues!!!! He might want to go back to doing Prell commercials or selling the newest Lever 2000 scent, ‘I’m totally not, 100% gay!’ It’s got a 20-day anti-gay warrantee where if you have any gay tendencies from using the soap, you get your money back!

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