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Thursday, September 30, 2004

The First HOG/BERG debate

(boo-boo-da-boo-bOO-da-da-BOO-boo-boo-da-boo-boo-bOO)

That was supposed to be the Knight Rider theme. I think I did a damn fantastic job!

Speaking of which—well, not really, the first presidential debates will be starting tonight.
Don’t ask what channel because it will be on every damn one of ‘em.

I love these debates! Finally both candidates will be pressured into asking hard questions and dealing with people whom they don’t usually deal with.

Take Gore four years ago, he was following G-dub around the damn stage! That was awesome because no one knew what the hell he was doing.

Then there was the elder George Bush looking at his watch during the debates. That’s the thing you do when you’re at school or church, NOT at a presidential debate.

Since Hog and I are running against each other, I can imagine how a debate would go…

**************************************************

The first HOG/BERG debate

[MODERATOR]: First off I would like to thank both of you for being here and answering my questions. To start off,
Hog, what would you do about abortion in this country?
HOG: I uh… well, I would leave it up to the states to decide.

(Boos start coming from both sides of the bi-partisan crowd)
BERG: Well, I would answer that question with, Thank You!
(Crowd cheers wildly)

[MODERATOR]: Thank you Berg. Next question, do I need a slap in the face?
HOG: What? Did you just say ‘Do, I need a slap in the face’?
(Berg then comes around and slaps Hog silly)
BERG: Well, you asked, I answered.
HOG: Berg, you are and asshole of biblical proportions.
BERG: Did you hear that conservatives, Hog had premarital, non-consensual sex with the Bible!
HOG: I did not! I did not have sexual relations with that book.
BERG: Oh and liberals, HE READS IT BEFORE HAND!

(boos now get louder and louder from the violent crowd)

[MODERATOR]: That’s enough Berg!
BERG: I’m just sayin’.

[MODERATOR]: Next question, what do you plan on doing for the economy? Berg, you’re first.
BERG: well, I plan on improving it.
(long pause then crowd cheers wildly)
HOG: Yeah, how’s that going to work?
BERG: Through cooperation and hard work.

(crowd goes nuts and carries Berg off with Dairy Queen Cake for everyone.

************************************************

Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I won that battle!
I showed endless amounts of charisma and I made Hog look like a fool.

Good times!
My kickass football picks tomorrow


1 comment:

Hog said...

You bastard. I think everyone knows who would win the debate if we had one Berg. The American people would win if they heard what we had to say. How dare you sir, for trying to turn this election into a Bergfest. I'm running for the American people, not for myself you couch humping, purple car driving, Aaron Stecker taking, piece of bitch. Your mother would be ashamed. My asshole definately does not bleed for you sir.
Well with that out of the way, I'm getting a new car too now. Monday night my fucking engine fell out! You can't make this shit up!
I'm out, I have to fine tune my website for its release to the public on October 5, 2004.

Remember to vote for Hog/Skoy in November!