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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Super 'thugin' Mario Bros.

(now your messin’ with a/ a son of a beaatchhh)


I was thinking the other night,

If I was to pick a character from the ‘Super Mario’ set of games, which would I pick and why?

At first I thought,
‘Why am I thinking about this of all questions?’ but then I realized how great of a question it was! Lets break it down,

The original Mario Bros.
This game features just Mario, Luigi, ice thingys, flame balls, and plenty of pissed off turtles. At first glance you might just overlook these generic characters because they are so basic. Nonetheless, the characters all mean business. Mario and Luigi, although they are little and plain, are all about breaking the ice thingys and stopping those pissed off turtles.
This was Mario and Luigi at their more productive, and least creative. These characters are all about work and no play!

Super Mario Bros.
This was the classic game that made the series take off. This game featured goombas, that weird dude tossing out the spineys, the black bullet things, those badass hammer-throwing turtles, and of course the regular turtles. I can’t remember if Luigi was in this game as a 2nd player, but all about Mario anyway. This game had Mario grabbing mushrooms to make himself into ‘Super’ Mario and then you can grab a flower (why, I have no idea), which turns ‘Super’ Mario into ‘Super Fiery’ Mario. Now that’s a badass mofo! When you have the ability to spit fire and still kill enemies by hopping on them, you know you’re a thug!

Super Mario Bros. 2
I believe this is the most interesting of the Mario games. In THIS game you can pick between Mario, Luigi, Princess, and some mushroom dude. Each character had their own abilities, (ie.. Luigi had his kicks). What made this game different from other Mario games was that each character can pick up enemies and throw them at other enemies!!! Now that is something special! Not to mention that in this game you can use this potion to be transported into this bizzaro world where blocks turn into coins.

Super Mario Bros. 3
This is without a doubt the most popular Mario game out there. It was even featured in the blockbuster hit, The Wizard for all ten people that saw it. This game features the return of the flower that brings back ‘Fiery’ Mario (how’d we ever live without him), ‘Raccoon’ Mario, ‘frog’ Mario, and another one, which I can’t remember. Basically, in my opinion, it just got silly! Frog Mario? What the hell, Mario needs to be in a frog suit to swim and jump easier?
That’s thoroughly stupid.
Then there’s ‘Raccoon’ Mario that can fly and swat enemies with its’ tail? I wish the creators could stick to the mushrooms and trippy flowers that simply do their jobs respectively.

My pick though,
I pick Mario from the second game or Super Mario Bros. 2. The one feature about this character is that he can throw enemies at other enemies. Now I would love to hop on Bud Selig (not like that, you sickos), hold him in the air, and throw him at Bill O’Reilly. It would be the start of a great day!
Next I would choose ‘thuggin’ Mario from Super Mario Bros. 1. This Mario seems like a cool dude, eating his crazy flowers that allow him to spit fire and eating the mushrooms that allow him to grow. Seems strange in an interesting way.


That’s my story,

Until tomorrow…

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