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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

The Truth about Hog part II

(I’ve got... TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE!)
God bless you, Eddie Money

I went to the fine arts building at the State Fair today and out of all the beautiful photos and paintings,
a damn US flag made of rat traps won the ‘visitor’s favorite piece’ WTF???

Now to settle things with Hog,


Well, you’ve heard the response by Hog and I do have more TRUE stories to tell.
He claims that all my stories are false, but the fact is that I can’t afford a digital camera. Hog thinks he’s so cool by taking advantage of cute little drunk princesses, which is a form of image rape!
Do you want to support a rapist?

I wouldn’t, but that’s just me.

In response to his soliloquy, cause no one wants to listen to a Hog, I have my rebuttal.

Poncho Sanchez
With the power of Poncho, and me we’ll easily take over Iraq and then Iran. With the overworld and the underworld joining as one, we’ll EASILY take over the world and control the world’s natural resources. Hog and his silly ‘secret police’ will just end up getting their arms chopped off and beaten to a bloody pulp with their own severed arms!
Not a pretty picture.

Folks, you are either with me, or you are with the terrorists

Hog denies the whole puppy incident too. I was present during the incident and I had my camera, but it wasn’t exactly a Kodak moment if you know what I mean.
What kind of a sick bastard takes pictures of an insecure man slapping the hell out of a poor little defenseless puppy?

Not me!

You are either with me or you are with the terrorists

Culver's cakes
My opponent has clearly stated that he is 100% behind the Culver's franchise in terms of its’ frozen desserts. Let me remind the folks that Culver's is a Wisconsin born restaurant. Clearly, Hog is siding with acts of terrorism. Not to mention that his potshot towards DQ cakes is just plain blasphemy and reeferheadish.

Hog was noticeably quiet with his affair with Lady Jaye. Reason being is that Hog knows I’ll bust out my Minnesota Moose Starter jacket at any moment!

Yeah that's right! You ASS!!!

You are either with me or you are with the terrorists

However, I do agree about the Git-R-Done bit. It seems that everyone thinks they’re a comedian nowadays. We just got done with the,
“I’M RICK JAMES BICH!” Bit and now we got this.

Me or terrorism?

By the way, if you missed the post by Hog, HE REPEATED IT FIVE DAMN TIMES!!!

Talk about annoying!
Do you want an annoying president?
Didn’t think so.


Here’s another TRUE story about Hog.

This one day I came by his place when I noticed he
WAS GRILLING A SMALL CHILD IN HIS GAS GRILL!

!!!!!!RED FLAG!!!!!

Yes, Hog is a man known to perform such a devious act!

APPARENTLY SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL HOG HOW WRONG IT IS USING A GAS GRILL!

Charcoal is the only way to go when one is grilling.

And not to mention the killing and eating of small, defenseless children.
Ya know what I mean?

Until tomorrow…

3 comments:

Hog said...

I know what everyone wants me to do, come on here and keep this name calling going, but I folks as your next president am choosing to take the high road. I could come on here and tell you about stories of Berg's love for the Culver's franchise and how he gives up money to these so-called terrorists for a tasty butter burger, but I will not come on here and tell that story.

I could come on here and tell you about this man's love of buffalo, but I will not.

I could come on here and tell you about Berg's massive drinking problem and love of asian lady boys, but I choose to take the high road

Or perhaps, if I really wanted to stoop to his level, I could tell you about his chicks with dicks fetish, but really people, what kind of president would I be if I were to tell those stories?

You see, ladies and gents, if I come on here and mud sling, the terrorists, including Poncho Sanchez, will have truly won. I'm just here to tell you the truth and show this man as the fraud that he really is. My secret police are currently on the tails of Poncho and I have been informed that we are very close to catching him and bringing the evildoer to justice. And when we finally catch him, with the evidence that we have, Berg will go down with him and be spending plently of time in the Iraqi jails. I look forward to seeing you blindfolded with electrodes strapped to your nut sack lining.

So remember, when Berg asks you whether you are with the terrorists or him, ask yourself, do I love America and God? If the answer is yes, then the clear choice for president is me, Hog. God bless you all and America as well.

Hog/Skoy '04

Boof said...

hey slapnuts,
who is this 'skoy' character anyway?

Is s(he) in your little dork police?

Hog said...

Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough who Skoy is...