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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

The 4 point plan

(I was BORN in the USA, I was BORN in the USA, I was BORN in the USA, da…da da dada da da duh dada…….BORN in the USA)

I’m patriotic as hell!

Hog has outlined his offensive against me complete with lies and gross assumptions on his ‘detailed’ website full of clip art and Photoshop molested pictures.

Me, the college basketball world, and Poland will destroy you, Hog!

However, he doesn’t have any clue as how to disarm North Korea!

I do and it’s outlined in my ‘4 point plan’ below

Berg's 4 point plan for North Korea

-Hold a Texas Hold ‘em party in North Korea
-Just keep folding because ‘you never get a good hand’
-Get ‘em drunk
-Take the nukes and run to the boat!



-Hold a Texas Hold ‘em party in North Korea
As President of the free world, I will offer up a fun game of Texas Hold ‘Em with all the powers of North Korea in North Korea. I will do my part in supplying the ‘spirits’ most notably Knob Creek and supplying the fun.

-Just keep folding because ‘you never get a good hand’
As the game progresses, I will try to keep the chip count as even as possible so that the game goes nowhere. Pretty soon everyone will get so bored that I’ll just get up and say something like,
“WHO WANT SOME KNOBBER!??”
Then all the North Koreans will be like, ‘Word up!’

- Get ‘em drunk
After a couple shots, couple beers, and when everyone is all goofy, I’ll find the biggest goofball of the bunch and throw him on the card table. The table will be totally bent to hell and the chips will be everywhere. The Knob Creek will still be flowing, which leads me to the most important part.

-Take the nukes and run to the boat!
When the leaders of North Korea are all passed out, I and some bigger dudes will take all the nukes out of North Korea and transport them onto our sweet-ass speedboat so we can get our asses back to Hawaii.

Then, there’s
-No more nukes in North Korea
-Relations with North Korea will be neutral because they wont remember a thing. (They’ll just be left with a jacked up card table)
-A safer, stronger America!


Hog came up with a couple of good suggestions, but those suggestions have the makings of ‘open ended promises’.

I have better options and ideas. Ideas that blow anything that Hog has to offer out of the sky.

I will detail all of his open ended promises and some of MY ideas in tomorrows edition of ‘Bergblog’.

I will even explain my dealings with Kocaine Kitties and how it helps America.

“Hope is on the way…and Hog sucks!”

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