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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I wear my ignorance proudly!

(They’re building the gallows outside my cell, I got 25 minutes to go)

I’ve been pondering many questions about myself recently, taking stock if you will. I’ve been trying to figure out lifelong questions cloaked with mystery.

Heading that list is,

Why the hell don’t I care about NBA basketball anymore?
It’s really been puzzling to me. The Wolves played Sacramento on Sunday night and Number 1, I had no idea. Number 2, I only watched about 2 minutes of it and that was because Desperate Housewives was in a commercial.

I remember last year when I did give a damn. The only basketball game I attended was against the Sac Kings at the Target Center. I called off work and everything so I could watch the two best teams duke it out for first. I was pumped for this game!

I knew who the highest scorers were, I knew how many triple doubles Jason Kidd had collected, and most importantly I would, at the very least, look at the Wolves box score after a game.

I know it’s the selfish mentality that a lot of basketball players have, which distances it from the other sports, but basketball has always been like that.

Then I was thinking that it was subconscious racism on my part. It can’t be that either because I hate the white guys even more than I hate the black ones and there are only like 30 white guys in the NBA.

For instance

Brad Miller is an enormous bitch. I wish he could one day stuff his vagina with powdered sugar so that maybe, just maybe he could stop his whining

Scot Pollard is an instant fist of rage for me. I don’t know how he plays and he could be a decent guy, but he looks like an ass-pirate! Does he try purposely to look like a dick? Does his wife decide the hairstyles? “Honey, I’m going for the ‘pole-stuck-WAY-up-my-ass’ look. See what you can whip up.”

Rick Rickert: what a complete dumbass asshole! Thought he could just enter the NBA because he could grab a couple rebounds for the Gophers. Yeah right, he thought he was going to be a lottery pick! Totally screwed up the Gophers

Jason Williams: That stupid whoop-de-do is great but not if you turn the ball over 7 times a game!

Yao Ming: I have nothing against the Chinese. I wont even try to act like I’m racist to 1billion+ people either. That’s just plain stupid

And then solidifying my hatred for white athletes are the ‘annoying white receivers’ in football. Every team has one and they always seem to catch 3rd and long passes. They’ll always find a way to grab a ball that is seemingly 10 feet out of bounds.

But then again, I’m a person who’s proud of his ignorance. I wear it on my sleeve.

Nah I don’t know. I may never care again!

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