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Friday, December 03, 2004

Go Team: Sausage

(Well they gave me some beans for my last meal, with 23 minutes to go,
and you know, no one's asking me how I feel with 22 minutes to go)

What can I say, I dropped the ball again! I was supposed to rate some fine MILFs but this damn wedding is just too damn much for me. So much that I'll be bitching a little bit on Monday. You can bet on that!

Anyone catch The Apprentice last night? I haven't seen this show since the first season and the first season was completely ludicrous! There was a team of hot looking women and then a team of guys. The two teams would then have to sell a bunch of crap on Wall Street. Between the hot looking women, their skanked out clothes, and Donald Trump (of all people) in charge; it doesn't take a freaking material scientist to figure out that the women just may squeak on through.

Lets think of it this way, marketing. The group of people are heading off into an area full of guys. At that point you can take all the male members away because they aren't going to cause any doubletakes unless they come up with something incredible. The women on the other hand, just have to flirt their ass off and their done. Mission accomplished.

Stupid Donald Trump didn't realize this at the time (or he did but didn't' care) and his show's credibility just went down the tubes. Although… it was successful nonetheless…. And a guy did end up winning.

Anyway,

Last night was no different. There were two teams left, a team of 3 (Male, Male, female) and a team of 2 (hot blond, hot blond) and they had to go out and sell candy.

At this point the team of guys should've just went back to the suite and watched some soap operas because they had no chance. The team of women put on their short skirts, their flashy tops, glitter on the chest, and hair all poofed up and went out selling.

A normal candy bar sells for about $.60 The women were selling for FIVE DOLLARS! And they were selling them too.

The other team was having a hard time selling one for $2 let along $1…. BECAUSE IT WAS A FUCKING SAUSAGE FEST!

Finally the one woman in group:sausage ended up trying to fight fire with fire by offering a candy bar and to take off her skirt for $20 and they sold a couple candybars… for $20 a pop.

In the boardroom Trump was amazed by how the bimbos did (yeah I bet he was) and couldn't believe the disparity of how much the sausage team was selling their candy bars compared to the bimbos. $5-$2 saying that they sold them too low. Now I like candy bars but I wont buy one for $1 let alone 5. I'll just watch the ladies sell other idiots candy if that were the case.

I MEAN REALLY!!! AS IF WE'RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT SUPPLY AND DEMAND HERE! Anytime someone sells a candy bar for more than two dollars and the money is not going to charity, there's something completely screwed up with that!

Anytime you sell an M&M bar for over $2 and have plenty of supply, you're skewing the damn graph somewhere!

Just completely stupid..

Anyway football picks

Last week I went a brilliant (12-4)
Bringin my record to (98-74) Cocaine tuff!

San Francisco @ St. Louis
The greatest show on turf eh? BWAHAHAHA oh man I really hated the Rams back in the day and how they would have this stupid arena league style of play. Even the introductions were with spotlights and fireworks.
Rams 31 49ers 10

Buffalo @ Miami
Willis McGehee (or whatever his name is) is apparently unstoppable now. All the Bills really need to do is just give the ball to Willis and they win. And meanwhile Ricky Williams is smoking it up in Cali.
Bills 35 Dolphins 7

Carolina @ New Orleans
The Disappointment Bowl for a lot of people. I'm one of those people because Carolina went to the damn Super Bowl last year and the Saints were supposed to have a good quarterback. Aaron Brooks sucks through and through.
Panthers 27 Saints 17

Houston @ NY Jets
I got to play the weather card. Anytime a team comes from Houston and they're playing outdoors in the north. The Union-er north always prevails.
Jets 20 Texans 6

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay
Man wouldn't it be nice to attend this game. Granted you'd have to watch the Bucs but still.
Falcons 17 Bucs 10

Cincinnati @ Baltimore

Man was I wrong on last weeks Bengals score. Who would've thought that the battle of Ohio would have a combined score of 100+? I didn't even have anyone playing in that game!
Bengals 23 Ravens 20

New England @ Cleveland
I'm done picking the Browns. I think I have picked them every week and they've lost every damn week.
Patriots 24 Browns 13

Arizona @ Detroit
John Navarre wasn't any good at Michigan and he certainly wont be any good for the Cardinals. Cade McNown was my sleeper pick of the year too!
Lions 28 Cards 17

Tennessee @ Indianapolis
Oh the Colts are totally outnumbered on this one. They couldn't possibly compete with that Titans defense. Eh, maybe they can. How the hell can anyone count out Manning at this point? The guy could play an outdoor game in Nunavut and still throw three TD's
Colts 35 Titans 28

Kansas City @ Oakland
This used to be a great rivalry, too bad both teams suck thoroughly now.
Raiders 21 Chiefs 10

Denver @ San Diego
I never would've thought that the Broncos would lose to the Raiders in the snow. That's cra-you're crazy man. You're crazy! Sorry, I got a fucking dart in my neck.
Chargers 38 Broncos 28

NY Giants @ Washington
Ewww what a butt-ugly game this is.
Giants 17 Redskins 13

Green Bay @ Philadelphia
The Brett Favre lovefest tour continues on to Philly where the Packers will finally get their asses handed to them and play a decent team. The announcers will officially pop about 30 boners for Favre throwing a good-looking interception.
Eagles 26 Packers 20

Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville
I thought Jacksonville would've beat the Vikes. Maybe the Vikes are now on a roll? Pittsburgh, now they're on a freakin' roll!
Steelers 27 Jaguars 16

Dallas @ Seattle
Another Monday Night Football ugly fest. I don't know.
Seahawks 24 Cowboys 14

Minnesota @ Chicago
Yeah here we go. I know we suck playing outside, but we HAVE to win this game. I mean really, the bears just signed Jeff George who hasn't done anything in three years!
He wont start, but he's the best thing they have for a quarterback
Vikings 41 Bears 10

Yeah Ranting on Monday.

Good weekends yo!

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