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Thursday, December 09, 2004

Mother's I'd like ta...

(Well my lawyer says he’s sorry that he missed my case with 16 minutes to go)

I promised I would talk about MILFs today and I will.

The MILF scale
This is a little trickier because mothers are not supposed to be good looking. Another problem is that I don’t know who’s had kids and who hasn’t, Therefore, I will assume.
1-10

First is….

Hog’s Mom
Man she really isn’t a MILF as much as a MIAF’D (MIalreadyF’d) because she’s a hot piece of ass. I mean damn Hog, your mom is pretty damn cozy in the sack. She has, however, been around the block a whole bunch of times because I can only describe the process as
‘throwing a hotdog down a hallway’ but it’s still a good time nonetheless. You should try it.
10


Seriously though

Patricia Heaton
She’s Ray’s wife on the overrated Everybody Loves Raymond. She’s probably the only bright spot on the show. I don’t know about in real life but she definitely plays a MILF. Holy crap I’m about to give a 10 to a woman who’s 46. Whatever man, she’s a great looking MILF and a rack to match!
10

Patricia Richardson
As seen on Home Improvement. Eh, I don’t know. She’s actually just a mom and nothing really special. She’s got a southern accent but it really doesn’t work in her favor at all. Plus she nags too much on that show anyway
2

Debby Messing from Will and Grace
She’s an interesting one. I totally enjoy the show and usually when I like a show, there is a definite hottie or two involved. Messing is attractive, but she’s got a chest as flat as the wall’s and she kinda/sorta has a bit of an ass although it’s nothing to write home about. She’s pretty good looking still.
9

Julia Louis Dreyfus
I looked it up, she’s got kids. She was very much an underrated, hot woman on Seinfeld. I don’t think I have ever heard her name in any ‘hot ass beotches’ categories. She’s pretty damn hot! When she’d shove George or Jerry into the next room was the best because it tells me that she’s a tough one.
9.5

Sela Ward
I’m a huge Sela fan. She used to be on those Sprint commercials and I must say that her best feature is…..her voice. Woah! This is where the southern belle accent is a blessing. I could listen to those Sprint commercials forever. She’s a ten based solely on the voice. She doesn’t have a bad face either
10

-Man the tough part is trying to find who has children or not.

Hell with this… taking too much time….

Random babes

Cameron Diaz
The upset special if you will. She is probably Courtney Love’s long lost sister who, long ago, both fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch along the way. Justin Timberlake, you can have her! Seriously, she has NEVER looked anywhere near attractive. Never! Not even in The Mask. I saw The Mask and no, she didn’t even look that good. She’s blonde, she sounds stupid whenever she opens her big mouth, and her face looks like a guys (look at it). She’s no Sarah Parker but she isn’t that far off. Say it with me now… (clap, clap, cla-cla-clap, OVER RATED, clap, clap, cla-cla-clap)
1

Jennifer Love Hewitt
She’s looked really good in movies like Heartbreakers but then sometimes she’ll put on this ugly looking face. I do think she’s one of the top looking female actresses of her age range though.
8

Elisa Cuthbert
H, did you know she was that one girl in Old School? I sure as hell didn’t. She’s had her good times. I saw The Girl Next Door and she was the only reason why anyone would want to watch that awful movie. She’s not too bad for a blonde; however, brunettes and red heads are the way to go.
7

Sarah Michelle Gellar
I’ve never been a ‘Buffy’ fan because I’m not into the whole demons, ghosts, and zombies thing. I have seen her on those teen horror movies and on Cruel Intentions. I hear that she used to wear amazing outfits on Buffy but I never got around to checking those out. I will say that the jury is still out on this one because I still have yet to see more of her. Two down sides are that her face tends to look messed up sometimes and she was involved in a couple Scoobie Doo movies.
6.5+

Here’s another MILF

Natascha McElhone
She was that knockout hottie in The Truman Show and other stuff. She could be the hottest underrated actress in biznes. She’s got the best eyes I have ever seen, great smile, and a decent face to match. The one determining factor is again the voice. She has one of those sweet British accents that make a hot woman hotter.
10

Alright that’s enough, I lost my focus.
Football picks tomorrow

1 comment:

Hog said...

HOW DARE YOU SIR!