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Monday, December 20, 2004

No More Mac for Me!

(Now I’m climbing up the ladder with the scaffolding with seven more minutes to go
I better watch my step or I’ll break my neck with six more minutes to go)


Before I start out with the usual crap list I just want to pimp another fellow blogger.

It was last week sometime when I was fumbling around blogger, looking for some decent blogs out there in the interenet superhighway and let me tell ya, there’s a lot of stupid fuckin blogs out there! One guy talking about painting his kitchen, another talking about the dynamics of Medicare, and one even talking about the election of ’08!
So I find this blog called ‘Midwestgrrl’ and I must say It’s a damn fine blog! Midwestgrrl’s blog is a lot like this blog here only she has better grammar, is a seasoned veteran at this ‘bloggin’ deal, and (sit down for this guys) I think she might be an Indians fan. In fact I’m pretty sure she’s an Indians fan from my extensive research. Not that it matters because the Twins have shown in recent years that they are a superior team even with Monty Burns as their owner. Still, she likes baseball and there’s nothing wrong with a little baseball rivalry between blogs (Man, that sounds nerdy). Plus she talks about Bob Costas having an orgasm in that entry, which is actually the secret special topic of the day.

(AHHHHHAAHHHHHH!)

Specifically this is the line that caught my eye,
…I am full of yeast and flour and I wish I had a flux capacitor…”
This is one of those lines that I just focus on and read over and over again. Then I had a couple words jump into my mind like,
“1.21 GIGAWATS!”
“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here!”
“GREAT SCOTT!”

Which I will admit, the greatest triligy of all time! Better than ‘rings, better than Star Wars, and especially better than those stupid Harry Potter fairy tales. The Back to the Future triligy is THE triligy.

So I emailed her and asked her to exchange links. I felt like a little kid trying to give Mean Joe Greene a Coke in the tunnel. She emailed me back and granted me permission, so naturally I said,
“Gee thanks Midwestgrrl! Thanks a lot! This is going to be a Merry Christmas for all and all a good night!”

Well, not exactly anyway but something like that.

On with the Crap List


1. People who use the word ‘Scrooge’ loosely.
I notice that if one person complains even the slightest bit about anything ‘Christmassy’ they get deemed a Scrooge. For instance, my parents paid $125 a ticket to see Bette Midler sing her dumb showtoons and Christmas songs. Naturally I say: “Why the hell would you spend that kind of money on Bette Midler when you could’ve bought a ton of gifts for Toys for Tots?”
“Oh look at Scrooge over here complaining about us going to see a Christmas concert!" my Mom said.
This is the family I currently live with and am trying to move away from.
If they were die hard Bette fans I would understand because god knows I’d shell out $500 and move halfway across the country to see Pink Floyd, but I know they don’t know her other than that stupid sitcom she used to have.

That could’ve been $250 in Toys! And 2500 packages of ramen!

2. My gut
I have come to the realization that I cannot eat Mac and Cheese anymore. I know, it’s a sad day indeed. This has been ongoing from about a year in a half ago when I was living in Minneapolis at the hizzy. Before work I would make myself a box of mac and in nine hours, take a ride on the thunderbucket and hold on for dear life! I think it’s pretty safe to say that if you eat mac at separate times in the last 16 months and you end up mastering the courtesy flush as a result of each time, ya probably shouldn’t be eating anymore mac. Yeah, It’s like I just lost my dog. However, I am a fighter and I will either find something else to eat or call up cybex and ask if they have any colon strengthening free weights system I can start on.

Ugh, nevermind about that last sentence.

3. Those ‘I support our Troops’ ribbons on vehicles
Don’t get me wrong, I do support our troops and I think it’s great that we are sacrificing some hard earned cash in order to make sure they are being funded, but these magnets are kinda ridiculous. I mean who in the US is against our troops and is still forced to live here?
And don’t say Democrats, you wiseass!
Is there a ribbon somewhere that says:’I Support Water’ or ‘I Support Education’ or ‘Destroy the Pack’? Again, nothing wrong with the principle of donating money, but it’s a little smug to slap those magnets on a vehicle. Especially on a high-end sports car or SUV, but that’s just the natural resources student in me.

By the way, I officially graduated as of Friday! GOOD BYE UofM!

4. Graduate Students
Now that I probably wont be heading over to the UofM anytime soon, I don’t want to forget about my hatred towards those nerdy grad students. If I were ever to have a Hall of Fame crap list, grad students would definitely make the list.


Maybe it’s just my jealousy toward people who have the desire to excel in knowing the specific dynamics of the Kreb cycle or my misunderstanding on how anyone would want to make a career in that, but I simply cant’s stand the smugness on a lot of those students. Not to mention the notion that one spends tens of thousands of dollars in their undergraduate days, struggles and stresses to receive that A on their papers for about five years running, and then decides: “Hey, you know what, I don’t think I learned enough. I want MORE stress AND I want to suck my professor’s dick in the process”

It just seems to me that grad students are the ultimate tool in college. A lot of times they teach classes, grade papers by the undergraduates, and ‘help’ the undergraduates with any questions about the lecture.
So what the fuck does the professor do then? I mean ya pay something like $300 a credit for a grad student to teach the class? Fuck that, I want the ‘world renown, couldn’t-get-into-Wisconsin, blazer-wearing’ prof or the guy who I shelled out big bucks to have TEACH US!


Eh, it’s all over.
Tomorrow I talk about our Christmas party this last weekend

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

dude, was it amc and cheese, or those oddly eastern european knockoff mac and cheeses. Casue if it was the latter, you were probably eating thirty-year old processed powdered cheese. May I suggest pulling your fat ass up to a healthy salad full of ruffage to clear out your predictably sick colon?

h from the hizzy