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Thursday, January 06, 2005

Pissing off of Balconies, Mailboxes

I know that it will hurt
I know that it will break your heart
the way things are
and the way they've been

God damn that was close!

Yesterday I told you about how I found a place on the East Side and even dropped a security deposit down. I got the money back and the landlord pretty much thinks I am as impulsive as a female.

I probably would’ve signed the lease I didn’t talk to my coworkers and didn’t have to be ‘approved’ to sign a lease.

The guy did seam a little sketchy telling me that he usually turns away nine out of ten people that call up about the place.

I think I may have figured out what I am going to do. I’m going to live my American dream for now and possibly take some extra money and invest it in other ways (gambling, dominoes, burlesque, ect).

I was really pondering last night the rent vs. buy debate. It came down to a lawnmower. I don’t even like the thought of buying and maintaining a lawnmower, why the fuck would I want to take on a house?

Beyond the lawnmower, I’d have to attempt to grow some shit by establishing a garden, insulating the windows every fall, and fix the toilet when I clog it up.

How the hell do I attempt to garden? I’m trying to imagine myself stumbling outta bed at 11:30am in my Led Zeppelin T and stabbing my toe with a shovel.

Nieghbor: What are you trying to do there, Tom?
Tom(digging in the ‘garden’): I’m (grunt) trying to plant these fucking (grunt) Dahlias against those god damn blocks, then over there against that son of a bitch (grunt) threshold I’m going to plant an assload of beautiful Fuschias. Geez, these fucking goddamn holes ya gotta dig for these fucking lilies are killing my back!

It wouldn’t even go that far because I wouldn’t give a crap about my yard. Neighbors all over the place would be pissed off at me for not mowing or taking care of my lawn let alone grabbing the paper outta the driveway while cussing, scratching my chest, and taking a piss next to the mail box all at 2:30 in the afternoon.

It wouldn’t be a good site

Dogs are better trained than me and I’m thinking of buying a house?

After that debacle yesterday I’ve rethought about where I want to live. I’ve pretty much wiped out all of Ramsey County because only the most ‘fucked up’ of the already fucked up people grew up in Ramsey County. Then there’s Dakota cou—PLEWWWWW I just spit out my pop. I wont even joke about living in Dakota county where all you hear is the sound of breaking Benjamin..or is that the slaughter house?

Nah, I’m going to try and stick to Washington Co. I even have a couple of options.
One includes the apartments that contain great ‘pissing’ balconies.

Ah memories.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

tommyboy,

hey remember me, grew up in dakota county. i fared okay, in fact the stench is clearly contained to just the concord ave corridor in ssp, the worst of towns. the real problem with trying to live in dak county is the affordability, you can afford southern dak, but forget about getting close to the cities, although you work at night so you wouldn't have to deal with traffic.

Boof said...

Yeah, I'm fully aware that you're from Dak county. That's why I said...

I keed, I keed

Nah, If I lived in Dak county I would get a headache everynight thinking about the geography.

**Okay, South St. Paul is South of St. Paul and West St. Paul is west of... South st. Paul but south of St. Paul... and then there's North St. Paul whichs is mostly East of St. Paul.***

Man, 'The Mind' was right, these dumb Irishmen don't know shit about building a city.

Eric Wormann said...

Hahahaha, you say pop.

Boof said...

'It is what it is'

Oh what am I supposed to say,
SODA???

That's bunktified man!

Tis' pop here

Eric Wormann said...

The only people I know that say "pop" are from Canada. You're from Minnesota so that's like the same thing, right?

It's soda where I come from. Or "soder" if you're my aunt.