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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Quick Bits

Oh ballbreaking moon and ridiculing stars
The older I get, the closer you are
Don't you have somewhere that you need to be
Instead of hanging here making a fool of me


“…And all night I’ve been receiving requests for Pink Floyd and this is Jugband
Blues by their first singer Syd Barrett who actually wrote this for their second
album….Their new book “A Closer Look” which is written by their guitarist,
Richard Wright,e is already in stores now”


When I heard this I was ecstatic because I never thought I would hear the Jugband Blues on the radio. However; with the excitement came the need to correct the major errors in his “ramp”. Half of the content was dead on correct, but the obvious info was wrong. So I called the DJ because I wanted to praise and correct him. We had a nice conversation for a couple minutes and I corrected him on his errors and he asked me some questions about the band. Wow! I’ve never been asked legit questions about the Floyd before so it was damn cool. He had to cue up another disc and thus had to go, but it was a rather nice, informative conversation.
After the music set he comes on…

“…And I should make the correction from my previous statement...”
And he went on to say…

“Currently Nick Mason and Dave Walters are not on speaking terms and haven’t
played together in years”


dhdk-guh-widgi- NO!!!

It’s ROGER WATERS and they HAVE been on speaking terms in recent years. In fact Mason would play drums for one song during Waters’ US tour in 2000.

The guy was really knowledgeable on music (being a legit dj and all), but damn he butchered that last sentence.
I digress though because the more I think about the errors, the more I start to worry about my own Pink Floyd rube-ness. After all, who and why would anyone care about the details on the band? If this guy doesn’t, noone else does or should give a damn anyway.

I think I am the only thing close to a Pink Floyd groupie around. Ugh.

-The pornstar hasn’t been to the gym for at least two weeks! I was waiting, counting down the days for when I approach and talk Pink Floyd and the ghost I live with to her. Then if the “ice breaking conversation” didn’t work, I would bend down on my knee and pull out my acoustic guitar and sing,
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your heart to me
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me

It’s amazing what one can fit into spandex!
What woman could resist that at the gym?

-The other night at work, I had work on the side of our huge ass building that overlooks the major freeway into town. Like I said, it was at night so we had a halogen light aimed at the building, which is damn powerful.

Anway, the worker stepped into the light and his shadow was spread over a HUGE portion of this high rise building.

That’s when the light bulb hit. I looked at the cars on the freeway. Then I looked at the building. Then I said,
“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!”
And no, I didn’t perform shadow puppets for 15 minutes. It was actually 10 minutes and it was a good time. I made this 50 foot dog and it was one of the coolest things ever.

OOOH OOH THEN, I made a really big bird!

Yeah it’s childish but how does one pass up that opportunity?

-Also, the other night at work my worker says,

Worker:“Dude, I’m going to Topeka so I’ll probably be a little late for work tomorrow”
Berg: What? You’re going to freakin Kansas?
Worker: Yup, It’s just below South Dakota.
Berg: NO!!! IT’S JUST BELOW NEBRASKA, WHICH IS JUST BELOW SOUTH DAKOTA! Why the fuck are you going there and why do you want to come to work so bad tomorrow?
Worker: I’m getting a truck and I don’t want to miss any work hours
Berg: BUT THAT’S CRAZY!
Worker: What’s so crazy about that?

That’s when my head exploded.

You’d have to supply me a pallet load of Doritos in order to get me to do anything like that.

I just find that completely crazy.

-Rumors are flying around at work about my White Castle eating contest. Reactions vary from look-downs and head shakes to people doubled over and clenching their stomachs. I played the Price is Right game with one person and she would give a number and I’d say higher or lower. She started at 7 and when I said higher to “ten” she was shocked.

I’m becoming a legend.

Oh and Sasquach, no one cares about you eating 26. It’s my blog and I’m the star.
Plus technically, I won anyway (but not without losing in the long run).

-Last night they had some bikini show on one of the HD channels.
That. Was. Amazing!
I then changed the channel to ESPN Sportcenter and made out with Linda Cohn.
We exchanged numbers.

-Pro Bowl is on this weekend…for anyone who cares about retarded things like that.
That’s it… good weekends all around.

1 comment:

Orbitron19 said...

Dude,
Three things:

1) Linda Cohn: Sneaky MILF hot. Kind of an unexpected one on the lIst--Like Karen Leigh on WCCO. I'd still prefer Susie Kolber or Cindy Brunson.

2) Porn star? Female? Where?

3) Shadow puppets on the side of a building--AWESOME! I'd have done the same thing!