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Monday, March 07, 2005


No promises, no guarantees
When you come down here You're already on your knees
You wanna ride white lightnin'
Then sign your name
If you wanna dance with the devil
You gotta play his way, play the game

Last Saturday I won tickets to attend the Minnesota AA high school hockey championship and third and fourth place game. With my extra ticket, I took Hog because I wanted to patch up any hard feelings after he cheated his way to Presidency.

Throughout the game we had plenty of conversations that I deem “blogworthy”.

That and I'm lazy.

Third and fourth place game: Tartan vs. Duluth East
Berg: Dude, I’m damn hungry, I need a really big hot dog!
Hog: Yeah, I’m game.

4:05PM watching the game.
Hog: You know, I would’ve been nice to see Tartan in the championship game.
Berg: Yeah that would be great. It would be weird because Tartan’s never had a good hockey team and it’s never had any school spirit.
Hog: My sister says that Tartan is totally ghetto-ed out now.
(Both laughing)
Berg: You mean the gang problems are starting up again? Remember the Prep Killers?

4:30PM first intermission
Berg: Dude, those mini doughnuts are calling my name. I gotta go.

4:45 start of the second period
We were both watching the game when two old guys and two kids sat two seats in front of us. Before this we had a clear-cut view of the ice, now we had an “almost” clear-cut view of the ice.

Hog: Could you imagine Tartan ever beating a team like Duluth East ever?
Berg: Nah—OOOh check out that hottie way down there!
Hog: ooooh!
Berg: Man, I should be a teacher. You get older and they stay the same age.
(awkward silence)
Berg: Dude, I’m getting another pop.

4:55 coming back from the concession stand
I came back and some guy came down to have something signed by one of the two old dudes two rows in front of us.
Some guy: Dude, I just want to thank you so much. You’re the best.

(Hog and Berg both try to look at the signature to make something out. Then they look at each other inquisitively.)

Hog whispering: Did you catch that name at all?
Berg: Nah, who the hell is that?

At this point I figured it was Herb Brooks’ mailman or second cousin because the tournament refers to Brooks whenever they can. I thought it was him or some hockey dad/player.

5:10PM after studying the old guys in front of us
Berg pointing to the kid’s sweatshirt that says “Lehman”: Look at that kids sweatshirt.
(Hog and Berg both look at each other inquisitively)

Berg pointing to the man’s shirt that says “Master’s” on it: Look at that guy’s shirt and that other guy has a Docker’s cap! It’s totally Tom Lehman!

Hog: That would be cool if it was! You should go down, tap on his shoulder, and ask, “Excuse me, who are you?”
Berg: Nah, maybe I should sidle up next to one of those kids and ask one of them?
Hog: oh like, “Here little boy, c’mon over here”

Hog: No you should go over to that section over there. Then I can yell out, “HEY TOM” and then we can see if he turns his head. Then we’ll know if his name is Tom.

Keep in mind we’re talking kinda loud so whomever it was sitting in front of us could probably hear the whole conversation.

Berg: Ok, I got it. I bet the dude in the Docker’s hat is Lehman. The other guy is another, older famous golfing buddy.

(then some kid comes over to shake the guy’s hand)
Some kid shaking, what we thought, was the old golfing buddies hand: Mr. Lehman, I just want to say that I enjoy your game and I hope you’re having a good time here.

Hog: Ah we cracked the code
Berg: Yeah, but why the hell is he here? Shouldn’t he be out…I don’t know, golfing?
Hog: Maybe you should go down there and ask him, “Mr. Lehman, why aren’t you golfing today?”
Again, possibly speaking a little too loud.
Berg: Dude, I’m going to go and get some cheese curds…

6:30 hanging out at the Xcel lounge watching the Gophers
Berg: So we’re sitting two rows up from a guy who's won two friggin Majors.
Hog: …because when yo rich, you get to sit by filthy rich golf pros.


The Championship game: Holy Angels Academy vs. Moorhead HS

Berg: You know, If I were hockey emperor, this would be the general seat location where I would sit.
Hog: Yeah you can practice your emperor skills tonight.
Berg: Yeah like I would rarely ever show any emotion unless a great play happened. Then I would slowly stand up and clap really slowly all with little-to-no expression on my face like so
(Berg makes an attempt.)
…Then there’d be a big spotlight on me and I’d be on jumbotron and all “the little people” would cheer even louder based on my actions.
Hog laughing: If only you were emperor.
Berg: yeah, and I would have my own music too. Like, (making cymbal and marching drum sounds)..That would be awesome!

Berg: I’m gonna go and get some bratwurst.

Hog (points to the wave starting up at the Moorhead side): uh oh look at that over there.
Berg enraged: Oohh If only I were hockey emperor… I’d fuckin beat those people down.

Berg: OOH look, Lehman’s having pepparoni pizza!
Hog: Dude, that’s the diet of a 1996 British Open champion! Maybe we should start eating more pizza for the sake of our golf game.
Berg: We gotta find a way to take a bite out of THAT pizza.
Hog laughing: Yeah, we could stick our necks out with our mouths open. Then when he turns around and catches us we can say, “Oh sorry Mr. 1996 PGA Tour Champion, we’re just…ah nevermind.
Berg: OOH look, He’s wiping his mouth on a napkin! We should steal that napkin and wipe all of Tom Lehman’s sweet juices all over us!

Hog imitating spreading Lehman’s napkin all over himself: Look! Lehman zits!

Berg: I'm gonna go grab another really big hot dog.

9:30pm Holy Angels Academy 6 Moorhead HS 4

Berg: Dude, I gotta (grunt) I gotta hit the thunderbucket.

Lehman being at the tournement made it into Charley Walter's Sunday column.
• Yes, that guy turning heads while walking through the Xcel Energy Center
on Friday and Saturday was 2006 U.S. Ryder Cup golf captain Tom Lehman, who was
attending the Minnesota high school boys hockey tournament.
Lehman, the
former Gopher from Alexandria, Minn., who passed on this week's PGA Tour Ford
Championship at Doral in Miami, wanted his 9-year-old son, Thomas, to witness
the famed Minnesota prep tournament. Thomas, who plays in a squirt hockey
program in Scottsdale, where his parents live, was eager to experience the
Minnesota hockey legacy after viewing the movie "Miracle" about Herb Brooks'
1980 U.S. Olympic gold-medal champions.
Tom, Thomas and Tom's brother Jim,
whose 10-year-old son Connor plays youth hockey in Wayzata, attended five state
tournament games. Tom said Saturday that the youth hockey program in Scottsdale
is "extremely good." He and his son will return to Scottsdale today

1 comment:

Hog said...

OOHHH, so that's why he was there.

Man his brother must be like 20 years younger than him.

Hell, we thought it was his son.

Just another day in the club level though.