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Monday, March 28, 2005

Five Questions

And I wished for so long, Cannot stay
All the precious moments, Cannot stay
It's not like wings have fallen, Cannot stay
But still something's missing, I cannot say

I heard about these blog-to-blog interview things from Ron’s site, so I decided that I’d play along.

Let’s see what kind of questions he’s got for me…

1) Which character from 'Clerks' are you most like?

Damn, I might have to open this question up to the panel, to the people who actually know me (H, Hog, and any other person that reads but doesn’t ever post **raises fist**).

I definitely have a lot of Dante’s character in me with my worrying as of late and I also think I have a lot of Randal in me too.
I want to say Randal because he’s actually my favorite character in any movie. I also remember when I worked at the liquor store and I would constantly recite,
“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.”
But I don’t know.

2) Mardi Gras or Las Vegas?

I would have to say Las Vegas even though I haven’t been to Mardi gras. From what I know about Mardi Gras is that it centers on Bourbon St. and it’s a clusterfuck of people.
I can only imagine that Mardi gras would have too many stupid, dumbass people (let alone too many people in general) for my liking. I can’t stand huge crowds and with Vegas there’s a lot more to explore with the Strip, Fremont St, Red Rock Canyon, and the Hoover Dam so I could easily escape any colossal gatherings.
I went to Sturgis this last summer because “it’s so awesome” and people go every year for years and… I was working there at the time.
Well, there were too many damn people there and Berg gets frustrated when there’s too many people.

So yeah, Vegas in a heartbeat

3) If you're trapped on a desert island and you had to choose betweenSarah Jessica Parker or Brigitte Nielsen to copulate with....who would it be?

Oh good lord. Of all the questions to ask…
This is going to be a doozy **grabs towel to bite down on**

Let’s break it down
With Nielson:
She’s really ugly,
Flava Flav and his allies would be ready to kick my ass
Take Wisco, Iowa, and Nielson genes mixed up and **shudders** you’ll have a kid that walks around going “WHACK BONK” constantly all while tripping over tree roots and curbs.
I’d have to watch her grow OLDER,
I’d also have to see her naked constantly, which… BLUHHWAHABLAHHBLAHWAHABLAHHLSDF
Plus, she smokes and that’s really all it takes for me to discard anyone.

With SJP:
Annoying voice,

human sundial of a nose,
Also ugly,
The leader of 30’s single women everywhere,
Annoying GAP actress,
Probably a whiney beotch (I don’t know, she seems like it).

But there would be some positives like:
We could always pretend we’re muppets. Like I could be one of those judges or Fozzy, or Animal and she could be… Well, you know.
Also she could tell me all about Kristen Davis.
And I could always put a bag over her head and another four bags over her nose because she doesn’t have a bad body.


4) Rock and Roll is dead and no one remembers it but you. What band doyou try to become and why?

Probably true.
Well, since you asked. My band would have…

The power and soul of Led Zeppelin
The charisma of U2
The brilliance and creativity of Pink Floyd
The emotion of Sarah McLachlan
The vengeance of Patty Griffin
The attitude and passion of Pearl Jam
The talent of Van Halen
The voice of Sinead Lohan
The authenticity of CCR
The ambiance of the Cowboy Junkies
The song writing ability of Stevie Nicks
The front man that’s comparable to Queen’s
The persistence of Def Leppard
And another grizzled voice like Bryan Adams’
In no particuliar order

I would call this band, Creed—I keed, I keed!

I also believe that Rock will come back. There’s been a vacuum for long time for a genuine, innovative group or act to spring up. I do believe that there will be a band that will blow everything out of the sky and give a big middle finger to huge conglomerates that run this age of shallow pop and fabricated “rock”.
It all goes in a cycle and Elvis is around here somewhere.

5) If you had to choose between frying bacon naked or bungee jumpingnaked, which would it be?

Bungee jumping naked. I fry bacon naked every Thursday.

At least I could if I wanted to, but it’s dangerous because you could get that bacon grease on your dinky and… **shudders**

Of course with the bungee jumping you could fly come across a big-ass bumblebee and…**shudders** or land in a cactus patch--**Shudders**
But it would get rid of some swass (sweaty ass) too.

Now it's your turn:

1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I’ll ask you five questions.
3. You’ll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You’ll include this explanation.
5. You’ll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed


Anonymous said...

I'll bite.
And character from Clerks - easy - you;re the old dude who comes in, asks for the 2-ply tp, skin mag with the girls with big jugs, then croaks in the back with a hard-on.


Eric Wormann said...

hahahaha, Bryan Adams. He sucks so bad. Stop making references to him.

Oh and my birthday isn't until April 6, but thanks.

Boof said...

haha, I was thinking about that guy who dies in the bathroom. I forgot all about him.

"Nah, that one over there! It's got bigger titties!"

Eric, where the hell have you been?

Eric Wormann said...

Funny you should ask. I have an entire website devoted to that exact question.