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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

So Beautiful...

I'll shoot through your veins
I'll drive you insane
I'll poison your breath
And I'll love you to death

I heard the most beautiful voice last week while listening to the radio.

I was instantly transported to a forest with a stream flowing over yonder. I was dancing and frolicking to the sound of her voice.

I was thinking this, knowing fully well that women who sexy usually end up being heavily beaten by the ugly stick.

I knew it wasn’t the case this time because I knew who this person was.

This person was Marney Gellner, the courtside reporter for Timberwolves’ broadcasts.

I would gladly jump off my balcony and land in a small bucket filled with centipedes right now if she’ll marry me.
I would put my finger down my throat and throw up (nixing my nine-year record) just for a ten-minute make out session.
I would give up Doritos for a year if she were my slave.

Alright, you clicked on the pic and are like, “yeah she’s alright but come on.”

You don’t understand, it’s hard to find a woman who has the voice to match looks. Plus Gelner has this, friendliness and mystery to her. Like you could be waiting in line at Jimmy Johns and you could say something like,
“Man, I could go for some grape bubblegum right now.” And she’d be like,
“Yeah I know!”

The other part that makes her really sexy is that she’s a decent looking woman who talks sports.

That, right there, is what makes Suzy Kolber something to think about and makes Linda Cohn seem like a ‘kind of’ MILF to a “nice” MILF.

We see these women here and there that complain that they can’t find a guy, but if they would just talk about their favorite stadium or favorite hockey player, all their problems would be solved.

Also moving into my dream world is Marisa Tomei because of that new Haynes commercial. That’s one commercial I could watch for an hour!

Now if you took Marney Gellner and Marisa in the same room…

Good God!
Friday I’ll have my worthless baseball preview


brad said...

How does one completely agree with what you say? Like This! I love Marney, too bad she is married... To some lucky guy. Sigh...

Anonymous said...

I think she's pregnant with #2. She looked about 5 months along at tonight's Gopher hockey game.