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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

A New Beginning

You better run all day and run all night.
And keep your dirty feelings deep inside.
And if you're taking your girlfriend out tonight
You better park the car well out of sight.

After days and days of research, driving, and frustration I have finally found my laptop. For the last couple weeks I have I driven to Best Buy only to be shut-out by my conscience. I pretty much know half the geek squad in Best Buy by now and I could pretty much run a better service than those guys.

I pretty much had to “meet”--as in shake hands and greet--almost everyone in the computer department because apparently with all my stops at Best Buy, I must be a bit of a celebrity by now.
“Hey that’s him. Over there with the 5 o’clock shadow yelling at the gatekeeper--that’s him!”

So I take this bad boy home and dropkick my other comp in my hallway so I can start toying around with it‘s replacement. As I’m playing around with my new toy I happened to glace at my old computer thrown haphazardly in my hallway. Then I looked longingly at my balcony.
All the times before when I talked about throwing my computer out my balcony was a joke because what kind of barbarian throws cheap-ass Gateway computers out of a third story balcony?

This time I really was considering it. If it wasn’t for the ultimately crappy day we had and my conscience telling me that there’s hazardous materials in there, it’d be in a thousand cathartic pieces.

The worst part about it is that I didn’t buy the BEST laptop out there either, more of a mid-lower end unit and this computing experience is just apples and oranges compared to that old thing.

I even got the backpack, so now I can act like I am putting together some spreadsheet that contains millions of dollars of input when I’m really just rating other people’s poop.
It’s the glasses that tip people off because what kind of person rates poop that wears glasses all while tapping away at his laptop?

Yeah, this thing is smarter than I am. I keep getting these Terminator-like fantasies where my lappy get’s all pissed off and starts chasing me while chomping down continuously. Then there’s the nightmare of this thing turning into a buddy, but then turning on me by taking over my body and eventually my lifestyle! So if you ever see a laptop suckling my nipples, you might want to start asking questions.

If such situation came true, I’m sure my old trusty Gateway would try to ward off the evil HP 1000. That is, if that whole mess took longer than 34 minutes--the time it takes for the Gateway to load properly.

One thing I noticed is that I probably wont be using floppy discs anymore. Hey, it was the only way I could transfer files back home from work.

Oh, it’s too painful. Where did all the time go?

1 comment:

midwestgrrl said...

Wait! How am I a "blog of ridicule?" Very sad. Very hurt. :(

Glad you like the lady, though.