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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Something...Dumbass

Well I guess there's nothing wrong with what you say
But don't sell me, "There can't be better ways"
Tell the captain "This boat's not safe, and we're drowning"
Turns up he's the one making waves. Waves. Waves

Living away from home has been one of the best freedoms since I can remember. The thought of going home and doing whatever the hell I want without worrying about being quiet or exerting terrible smelling gas at will is awesome!

At first when my parents heard that I planned on living alone they were desperately trying to think of others I could live with. Others that…I would never EVER live with and it’s been my experience that living with others the least bit different from me (100% population) is difficult for me.

I remember my first roommate back in Marshall. He was a little twerp who’d never been away from Wisconsin his whole life. He looked like the everyday computer nerd who’d walk and talk like a nerd. The one thing that bugged me about him was how he’d slap his knees after something funny.

(blink:blink)

Now I do that.

The only thing was he had this “I hate the damn world” hidden mentality and it took college to unlock that mentality.

Oh yeah, he transformed from a harmless nerd to a Chinese star throwin, samurai sword whirlin’, ‘fuck authority’ motherfucker in a matter of months. Soon he never gave a damn about being respectful to anyone.

I remember coming back from New York opening up my/our door to find a great big table taking the whole room so one couldn’t possibly get anywhere. Then everything had a fine dusting of cigarette ashes. That and the place smelled worse than your chain-smoking aunt’s Buick.

I rarely get thoroughly pissed but I was about to use those Chinese stars to cut him a new asshole! The smell never really left and I was counting down the days until I could come back home.

Then I lived with my cousin in Roseville and that was better, but I think my own ego set in. We would argue like an old married couple for days and weeks in front of the TV about religion, apartment stuff, and overall everyday things. Then one day I was watching tv when he would constantly stare at me with the goofiest clown-like look until I gave him his desired reaction. That was it, I was outta there at that point!

Not to mention how weird family-wise it was because he grew up with our grandparents where as I’ve seen them only a handful of times in my lifetime.

It was always especially awkward when relatives would call and talk to him instead of me.
What was even more awkward was that the feeling was mutual.

Then I lived with 2 women and H back in the hizzy, which, generally, wasn’t too bad. With H around it was easy to ignore the nagging women and it actually gave us some common ground to build a decent kinship.

Now H and I are like a divorced couple. Damn judge gave him everything and he left me with three kids!
H, you owe me child support you ass!

Anyway, I wasn’t to keen on roommates and my parents (actually Mom) was worried that I would get lonely.

**shakes head and grins**

Me? Lonely? The guy who would rather attend movies alone just so I don’t have to deal with conflicting opinions afterwards.

Leaving the theatre
X: Man, the fire breathing dragon, the special effects, and the plot was AWESOME!!
Berg: That was complete dogshit.

Nah, I don’t get lonely. I love the solitude. I love how I can watch public access without someone walking in saying,
“So are you planning on driving to—Why the hell are you watching public access?”

So now my Mom is calling me up whenever I receive junk mail or my Mom found some old stuff of mine at the house. Still, despite a family that is non-phone friendly, my Mom will call me at the craziest times to ask me something completely stupid, which ends up with me saying,
“Well…..alllllllllriiighhhht, I supposssseee I’ll letcha goooooo.:” Hoping she’ll get the hint and finally send me off to computer porn or sleep or work or whatever.

And then uh….
Uh…
Uh…

The end (?)


Ahem… no point in this post at all. Ah…just wanted to waste your time is all and if you’ve come this far,

I SUCCEEDED ROYALLY!!!

How’s hump day going?

Also I just wanted to point out that the Twins beat the Tigers yesterday.

Ron’s Tigers.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH


God, I'm an ass!

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