Search This Blog

Friday, April 08, 2005

A Tender Topic of Mine

[Saturday 3pm: This was my actual post for yesterday if blogger wasn't such an assholeo]

Well I hardly knew ya baby
And you were comin' on
Mama told me there'd be days like these
I shoulda known better maybe
Woulda seen right through ya
I needed you like a disease

Because I’m so god damn pissed right now and it’s a Twins off night (I promise, this site is not going to be 100% Twins…) I’m gonna write briefly about a topic that is very dear to me.

A topic where people step back and think “OK, this dude is 25?”

A topic where people will slowly back away and, when they can, they jolt away from me out of the room.

A topic where people wonder about if I have indeed suffered drain bamage.

No, I’m not talking about Bryan Adams.
I’m talking about my love for old school Transformers.

I spent six years of my childhood looking for the complete version of the movie because I would always miss the first ten minutes. I would spend a good ten minutes every Thursday after school skimming through the TV Guide looking for a replay of Transformers: The Movie.

I even remember going to the theatre to see the movie. I can even remember the feeling of seeing brand new characters and actually watching Autobots land a hit against, the Deceptacons.

I was five years old at the time and if my parents didn’t take me to see this movie, lets just say I would’ve spent my teenage years standing outside the local Dairy Queen annoying people if they were planning on buying penisbuster parfaits and running around in the parking lot trying to chase my own ass.

My parents knew this and they took me and my bro to see this movie; a movie where someone says “shit”, a movie where characters die, a movie where Optimus Prime dies.

I almost left the theatre in tears because I couldn’t believe that Optimus was dead. I didn’t want to believe it either.

Despite the sudden “life sucks” message, the characters of Hot Rod (see avator), Kup, and especially Springer had me wiping my tears because they were so new and there was so many questions up in the air about these characters.

Who is Kup supposed to be?
If he’s so old, why haven’t I heard of him before?
Is Springer and RC dating? If so, where would the baby come out of?
Berg 1986: There’s something about Hot Rod that I can’t quite put my finger on it…(Berg 2005: Is he gay?)

The movie was perfect in 1985 and I eventually went in and out of my Transformers phase (I’m currently stuck in it). Now when I watch the movie, it doesn’t make a lick of sense.

For instance,
Why did everyone stop fighting when Optimus and Megatron were on the brink of death?
Why the hell did they bring that annoying little kid, Daniel, with them?
How could they kill some autobots and piece together others back to life?
To say the least.

Not to mention the “regular” questions,
Where the hell does Optimus’ trailer end up?
Why can decepticons fly when autobots cant?
And how can Earth possibly support humans that use oil when Transformers are using them as well?

A couple years ago I finally saw the whole movie and even bought the DVD and it’s been a staple to my DVD collection.

What’s really crazy about the movie (besides…the obvious) is that it’s based in 2005.
2005! And no Cybertron, no energon cubes, and no bumblebee.

What the fuck? Seriously


Eric Wormann said...

I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Optimus Prime died from prostate cancer.

Boof said...

hehe, If someone like my Dad would've sat down and said that to me, I'd slap him in the face knowing I'd get spanked good.

And to think, I always thought he died from Megatron when it turned out to be cancer.

I'll be god damned!