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Saturday, April 02, 2005

Twins 2005 Preview

Don't want your sympathy, no no no
Don't need the third degree, no no no
Just got to break away and scream
I'm caught in a dream

Ohhh man. I have a healthy rant coming at some point. My damn comp at home has some spyware crammed somewhere. I downloaded like three programs and nothing.

Same fucking problem.
Any ideas…

Then I had a post yesterday but I’ll use it for another day…stay tuned!

Also, when I said “baseball review” I meant Twins review, so any Yankee’s fans can go screw themselves. Not that they couldn’t already but still…

Berg’s thoughts on Twins baseball 2005

At the end of last season I felt like our run of being a marginal team in a crappy division was over. Then the media here was going all crazy about Jason Kubel—until he screwed up his knee. Then, we had to resign Radke, which was a headache in itself because asking the Twins to resign anyone who is halfway decent is a bit of a challenge.

Now, despite losing Koske and not knowing who our permanent catcher is going to be, I’m feeling damn good about this season!

Seriously, this season could be a memorable one.

First I want to talk about our pitching staff.

Radke: I think Radke will be our third (maybe even fourth) best starter because he is consistent…after the first inning. The way he pitches in the first inning is like watching Bud Selig on the mound (have you seen him pitch? You’d think the commissioner of baseball would be able to throw a ball over the plate!). When Radke pitches they should just start Nathan right away and then put in Radke in the 2nd.

Lohse: Last year he sucked. He barely qualified as a fourth starter. This year, if he can manage to win 10 games, I’ll jump off my balcony in a small buck—oh I already said I’d do that. Well, I’d do something crazy.

Silva: Everyone is all stoked about Radke and Santana but Silva is the dude you gotta focus in on. Last year was Silva’s first year as a starting pitcher and he still managed to win 14 GAMES!!!! Why the hell hasn’t anyone said anything about him? He’s going to be our second best pitcher (I’ll betcha!) and he’s younger than Santana! Silva might (and I emphasize, might) end up winning 17-20 games this year.

Hey, why not? He’s going to be pitching against the third best pitcher for the other clubs, he’s way better than most pitchers in the AL Central let alone their third pitcher.

Santana: I just saw that he’s slated to be their #2 pitcher this year.
Can you believe that?!?
Everyone who hasn’t paid attention to Santana before last year may be wondering if he’s another Estebon Loaiza. He’s not. This guy is for real and he should be (and I never feel this optimistic about Twins players) a 20 game winner this year. I remember a couple years ago when he was supposed to be our fifth starter. All the fans knew how good of a pitcher he was and that he is a complete starting pitcher if we ever saw one. Still, Gardenhire put him in the bullpen because the Twins needed bullpen help.

Fifth starter: I don’t know who it’s gonna be.. but the’ll win 30 games! I don’t know.

Overall, Silva and Lohse are going to be the barometer to this season. If they win 25 games combined, we are gonna rock the damn house!

Bullpen: SOLID AS EVER!! Joe Nathan is where it’s at!

Fielding: Twins have always had the top five fielding teams in baseball, so who cares.
We’re awesome at defense—that’s it.

Hitting: Wouldn’t it be great if we had someone who could hit 30 home runs in a year? It’s been like 18 years since we had someone hit over thirty home runs despite the “juiced ball” era and that the Twins play in something that used to be dubbed as the “homerdome” although it’s an outdated term.

The best candidates to hit 30 are going to be
1. Justin Morneau, our best power hitter since **shakes head** Ortiz. He has a decent chance to do it! I saw him hit the middle part of the Miller Park’s centerfield scoreboard back in 2003. I don’t think he’ll do it though.
2. Jacque Jones: Pfff not until he can lay off a pitch will he think of hitting 30.
3. Torii Hunter: Torii here’s a hint, LEARN TO LAY OFF A SLIDER!!

So no, we wont reach the 30 home run plateau (man, that’s sad)

This season would be in the bag if I wasn’t so afraid of the Indians. That’s right, the Indians are going to be our toughest opponent because the White Sox are uncoordinated.
The Indians are a young team with TONS of potential. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they make the wild card.
I’m also keeping my eye on Detroit because it’s obvious that they’re due to do something, anything!

Record: 96-66

Some more bold predictions
-Yankees miss the playoffs
-Boston fans getting REALLY annoying
-No one attending Atlanta Braves baseball games
-Metrodome will suck even more
-A.J. Peirzynskjsaifoai0-whatever will instigate a big Twins/White Sox brawl
-If Bonds even plays, he’ll suck
-No one hits over 50 HR again
-Cuddyer will be our permanent 3B and deserve it.

I would also like to say that PA address announcer Bob Casey died earlier this week, which will make games at the dome that much worse. If there was ever anything to anticipate about a Twins game it would be Casey’s calls and the way he’d flinch after fowl balls would slam across the Plexiglas behind home plate. I feel bad for the interim PA announcer because that person has huge shoes to fill.

When it comes to PA announcers, they need to have a voice with character. Since the Twins first year, Bob Casey would jolt a crowd with his,
“…NOW STOP THAT!” and my personal favorite,
"Ladies and gentlemen, please don't panic but there's going to be an EXPLOSION in 15 minutes!"

Way better than the over-rated Bob Sheppard.

That’s right, I said it! Anyone who is an announcer who has a noticeable lisp--and a crazy one at that--in his or her voice is subpar—I don’t care how long you’ve done it.

Also Mitch Hedberg died the other night. He was a fantastic comedian from St. Paul (big ups).

Who's next? Prince, Louie Anderson, Kevin Sorbo?

1 comment:

Hannes said...

Yep, Santana is the real deal. He will be the best pitcher in the league this year.