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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Finally, A Good Movie!

Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.
Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?

I watched the best movie since I can remember.

About a year ago I was a little pumped for a certain movie that seemed to explore the global warming issue. The previews briefly and seemingly showed how the major biomes would change and how the world would be drastically different as a result of such warming.

I saw the movie and completely turned my back on Hollywood since. The Day After Tomorrow had tons of made up and junk science (an ocean freezing up in hours), completely stupid subplots (getting away from wolves), and nonsensical bullshit (hiking from Philadelphia to New York during the biggest blizzard in known history and making it in less than a day!).

The movie almost made my head explode and the bullshit just wouldn’t end. I remember the ending with all the U.S. citizens migrating to Mexico as a part of this emergency pact and the President calling the shots from Mexico City.


I swear it must have been written by a descendant of Shakespeare with such a deadly and nonsensical ending.

Sunday night I finally found a similar, lesser-known movie with decent acting and plausible plots. I watched the whole movie and was completely amazed and in awe of such a cool movie. The movie was on the Discovery Channel of all channels, and I just happened to switch the channel at the right time.

The “docu-drama) was called Supervolcano and it revolves around Yellowstone National Park blowing the fuck up. After reading up on the topic a couple months ago I found that there have been major explosions stemming from Yellowstone and some scientists will tell you that ever 200,000 years there has been evidence of ’something huge’ coming from Yellowstone. The last ’big event’ from Yellowstone happened about 230,000 years ago, so this movie seems a bit relevant.

I watched this movie with a steely eye waiting for some 80‘s sitcom-like acting but the movie was solid! There wasn’t any completely stupid subplots and nothing seemed overtly stupid in regards to the dialogue or actions. They even portrayed the Secretary of Homeland Security to be a complete asshat.

I also have to mention that the special effects were amazing and I’m not a ’special effects’ guy either. Usually with stupid movies like Independence Day and Day After Tomorrow some dumbshit will say,
“The movie is really weak but the special effects were out of this world!”
which always makes me cringe. Movies that suck but still have eye candy are called pornos and it’s not like explosions are comparable to snowflakes. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Explosions don’t make the movie.

Throughout the two-hour, commercial-free movie I was waiting for Paul Walker to come strolling in and destroy the movie with his “uh oh but…he didn’t!

Thank you Jesus!

So I give this movie eleven thumbs up!


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