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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Only In My Family

I got a one track mind
My blinders up
Now all I gotta do is get up, go out, and get her
Got the first step down
Uh-know what I want
All seven senses tryin' to deliver

*phone rings*

Berg: Hello, this is Tom.
Receiving end in a jolly voice: Hello, this is Larry Berg.
Berg blinks his eyes, frowns, and pauses for three seconds: Ah, what’s up Dad?
Dad: Well, I’m not really saying this as your Dad.
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I'll stop right there.
So the question of the day is:

What do you say in response to that last statement?

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Berg: okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy

And my Dad went on with work stuff and basically had to yell at me for my crew forgetting something the night before. It’s just that he did it in the ‘I-don’t-know-you, politically-correct’ way.


*****************************
Louie Anderson: and out of 100 people surveyed, ‘What is the most awkward way to start a phone call?’
Mike Peterson: I’m going to say ‘I’m not talking to you as your father’.
Petersons: Good answer! Good answer!
Louie Andserson: Let’s see, ‘NOT TALKING AS A FATHER’!

*DING*
Louie Anderson: NUMBER ONE ANSWER!!!! The Petersons won it! It’s time for fast money!

*******************************

My Dad works at the same place I do and his department actually rivals mine in the construction side of things. There’s been daily conflict between the two departments amongst our colleagues but it’s never came up with my Dad and I. Nor should it ever because he’s retiring pretty soon.

We’ve rarely ran into each other because he’s a day guy and I’m a night guy. Plus, I don’t want to run into him at work because I’m afraid of a certain nightmare.

Let me explain,

My Dad is my idol. I only hope I live my life to be a shadow of who he is and what he stands for. He’s never drank and (other than the first few months of my life) he’s never smoked in front of me or at least while I was living at home. He’s an electrician and I always looked up to him being this Raiden type guy by fixing circuit breakers with a simple touch of the hand.

I grew up thinking the guy was magical because he knew everything and could fix anything.

Then I grew up (physically speaking) and eventually landed a job at his location.

Now my job entails construction up to a point. If one of my guys trips a breaker or if there is a leaky pipe anywhere, I need to ask the supervisor in my Dad’s department for the electrician or pipe fitter or AC&R guy.

So, if my dad were to work late for some reason and my guys tripped a breaker in his building, my Dad would probably come over, talk to me, and I would point him to where the breaker is.

Now this doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal to you guys, but for me this is overwhelming. For any other electrician it wouldn’t be a problem. Just tell the guy what to do, he does it, and reports to me when he’s done. It can’t be my dad though. My dad can’t report to me.

There’s something very paradoxical and disappointing about that. For some reason the pedestal my Dad was on seems to be nonexistent if he’s got to report to me.

Then, if all that wasn’t enough, I can tell you right now that my Dad would love that particular nightmare. He would LOVE to be my electrician. He would just get a big kick out of that.

In the meantime, I would be throwing up in the bathroom and crying for my childhood back.

Back to that crazy phone conversation,

The guys spends twenty years yelling at me on a daily basis and now he what-forgot or feels the need to beat around the bush?

I mean whaaaaaaat the fuck?

Do any of you guys put up with this kind of crap?

1 comment:

Orbitron19 said...

Dude. Understandably an awkward situation, but considering what you said about him being your idol (props for the MK reference) , it should be something that you have to get out of your head quickly. You said he's retiring soon, and he wasn't blaming you (just your crew) so brush it off like one of those things and pretend it never happened. (Like Louie Anderson hosting Family Feud)