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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Quickie Letter to God

Days when the rain and the sun are gone
Black as night
Agony's torn at my heart too long
So afraid
Slip and I fall and I die

*On knees, praying*
Dear God or Jesus or Zeus or whoever,

Oh God, I know I have abandoned you as of late and I like to make a bunch of jokes about you and the people that follow you. I was also referred to you from a whiney Mother Nature who told me that she reports to YOU and YOU haven’t budged on that dental plan that’s she’s been using as the main contention of her new contract.

I heard from a non-reliable source ( that tomorrow is actually supposed to be a nice day. Tomorrow is supposed have a high of 73 and it’s to be mostly sunny after the noon hour.
I don’t want to believe it. Like a woman who’s had every man she’s ever loved cheat on her, I can’t count on this weather report.

Last Monday was supposed to be sunny with a high of 64, which is nothing to complain about. I set the alarm clock at 9am to get up and take my morning run. Instead I woke up to thunderstorms and a disappointment that only compares to the *new* look by Lindsey Lohan (see SNL on Saturday to see what I mean). I really wanted/needed to run that day. Of course I probably wouldn’t have due to a slightly aching calf from football the day before, but I’ll save that excuse for a rainy day--excuse me, a sunny day since they seem to be few and far between.

I know I have spent my whole life spiting the church stemming from my baptism when I was hit in the head by the priest. Then there was that time where my brother and I snuck our way up into the mezzanine and started spying on the priest from above. Then there was that time where I sneezed into the other side of my elbow and created a huge farting noise that echoed throughout the church.

I didn’t know any better then and I kinda/sorta know better now.

Please let Friday be the sunny day we’ve been craving for weeks! It would be an excellent end to one of the busiest weeks ever.

Uh, Amen

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