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Friday, May 06, 2005

Trash Talking Made Easy

close your eyes we are buildings
we’re so amazing
close your eyes we are movement
we’re awe-inspiring

I admit, those last couple posts have been the blog entry equivalent to dog shit. This is because I have been so busy running errands and getting things set up. Not to mention that work is making me come in during the day because I actually need to talk to “day” people. I feel so grateful!

Today I bought me some phat gloves for football and I now understand what happened to Michael Jackson’s face.

Let me explain,

One day wacko Jacko was playing on the swings in the nearby park while all the parents were escorting their kids away from him. Jacko’s swinging and feeling lonely until he spots some kids playing football in the field over yonder.
Oh, I should mention that Jacko is black, so this story is taking place in the 80’s sometime.

So Jacko frolicks his way over towards the kids playing football when the parents starts bragging about their kid,
“My boy Jimmy there is a real Dick Butkus!”
Jacko’s eyes popped wide open when he heard another guy wearing NASCAR gear say,
“I actually wish my boy would get into NASCAR so he could grow up like Dick Trickle

Now Jacko is curled up in the fetal position and moving into convulsions as a direct response to what he just heard. So he eventually stands up when the kids start wrapping things up and walks towards the wide reciever, Lil’ Billy.

“Hey, I like you’re catches out there.” Said Jackson as he kneels down to the height of Lil’ Billy.

Just then Billy felt confronted and, still wearing his receiving gloves, he slapped Jacko in his fucking face and ripped off his whole face due to the stick’em on his bad-ass gloves.

Lil’ Billy then had to peal Jacko’s face off of his gloves

That’s how these gloves are. If you pick your nose with these gloves on you’ll take your damn esophagus with it!

Nah, I’m ready to play football! I’m gonna catch everything and do some more flips and trash talking…

Oh I’m going to throw everything at them!

Berg: Hey you’re mother looks like a horses ass!
Other guy: My mother isn't even here.
Berg flicking him/her off: You shut your damn mouth!

That’s text book trash talking right there.

Good God the weekend is finally here!

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