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Friday, June 10, 2005

Backfired Promotions

I left my baby and I feel so bad
I guess my race is run
Well, she's the best girl ... I've ever had
I Fought the Law and the ... law won
I Fought the Law and the ... law won

At one point Ron pointed out on his blog that on blog night ‘one lucky blogger would throw out the first pitch’. Apparently that’s not true anymore since I can’t find that line anywhere, or maybe I dreamt it?

When I first saw it/dreamt it, I have been constantly daydreaming me throwing out the first pitch.

Me, in front of a thousand people taking the ball, bringing my torso ever so close to the ground, and totally submarine-ing the ball somewhere near the vicinity of home plate.

That would be awesome

Of course IF I was to throw the first pitch I couldn’t just stand at the pitcher’s mound and simply throw it.

That’s absurd.

You have to make the most out of chances like that!

I remember attending a game at Wrigley Field where two lucky fans were lucky enough to play catch out in the outfield of The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field, right in front of the bleachers…
Those two fans weren’t that lucky in fact they were very much Unlucky because these guys threw like girls and couldn’t catch a ball (these two were well into their 20’s btw).

The crowd in left and left center field ripped them a new asshole! Every dropped catch would merit laughs and heckling that even I would cringe too.

These guys were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Then they would “throw” the ball.
*clears throat*

The first Sally throws like the worst preying mantis I’ve ever seen--everyone in the bleachers laughs their ass off. Then the second Sally throws by making a running start and trying to turn his body into it. By this time all of left field (including the rooftop seats) were in a full roar over these “lucky” fans, who couldn’t even throw a baseball twenty feet and were just making asses out of themselves to some hardcore Cubs fans (it was a Saturday Cubs/Cards game with beautiful weather).

Then at the dome they had a “celebrity” home run hitting contest where the celebrities try to hit meatball pitches (from center field) into the seats. On this particular game they had the FOX 9 staff participating (two promanent anchors, weatherman, and sports anchor).
The weatherman hits like 4 homers-ok, not bad but lets see the jockeyed up sports anchor.


And that’s it. The guy should’ve got fired right on the spot. The fucking mascot even hit three homers.

So if I had the chance to throw out the first pitch at any game, I would have to do something different.

I was thinking I should take the delivery of a famous pitcher like Warren Spahn or Nolan Ryan since I somewhat know their delivery.

Then there’s Hideo Nomo and that might end up hurting me before I get the pitch underway, but it would be cool!

Here’s my idea though, the submarine! It’s very unexpected, it might make the catcher pissed at you, and it’s a little surprising.

Who would submarine the first pitch?

I would!

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