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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Milwaukee First Blood part II

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
know all this

When we last left you our Milwaukee adventure had already resulted in hearing loss from listening to Dio too loud, witnessing cows having sex, and one broken bed frame.

Now it was time to go and explore true Milwaukee by perusing the bars and watching the current came at the bars on Water St. In order to get to Water St. we had to pass by Milwaukee’s theatre district during peak performance times.

Everywhere were women with beautiful dresses and their hair all done up for the nights performance. Next to the women was their mate all dressed up in khakis, ties, and expensive shoes.
Then there was the six of us walking amongst them with the stench of Wendy’s with a five hour long car ride and loud laughing to garner additive attention.

So the night started…

Four hours and $300 later we were on our way walking back to the hotel in the driving rain without any raingear or umbrellas or anything close to sobriety. Ratboy and I decided to bother some people in the local Coffee shop on our way back for giggles and that set off T-Bone.

Everyone made their way back to the room and T-Bone was yelling at everyone like a drill instructor.

One by one we all fell into unconsciousness except Bob Wells and Rat-boy who wanted to explore more of the hotel. They stopped by the game room when they saw some other guys (bizzaro Rat-Boy and Bob Wells possibly? and they teamed up on a quest to look for Combos.

We woke up with Rat-boy and Bob Wells on opposite sides of the room sharing a blanket somehow, Rat-boy using the phone book as a pillow, and the door being propped open the whole time.

We went to the game and had some burgers and saw the Twins win. One thing I don’t understand is how everyone goes all crazy for the sausage race. Top of the 7th everyone starts standing up and it’s like, ‘what the hell, 7th inning stretch is three more outs away’ but no, it’s adults in sausage costumes.


We made our way back to the parking lot where we blasted Dio loud on the jambox and started to attempt to play catch. T-Bone throws like a girl so we naturally Hog had to run his ass across the parking lot and try to prevent the ball hitting any cars. One ball managed to hit a car and apparently one of the seagulls were watching T-Bone’s sorry attempt to throw and managed to take a dump onto T-Bone.

T-Bone got shatted on! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We all ended up driving back home all loopy ready for bed. Car Ramrod exchanged pleasantries and went their separate ways.

Tears were shed.

We didn’t manage to capture Milwaukee but we learned all about their ways and culture.
We also broke a bed frame in our wake.


Ok, ok I know part II wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be but what the hell.

…freakin over hyped my own entry. Dammit!


Orbitron19 said...

Too fucking funny!! Is there a greater thing than the baseball road trip? Take over Wisconsin--it's full of the Michiganders that we kicked out of the Upper Peninsula!

T BONE...BITCHES said...