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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Samantha

Bring the boys back home
Bring the boys back home
Don’t leave the children on their own no, no
Bring the boys back home

Tuesday, 11am: Boof taking a shower

*sings*
“Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free, this is where I long to be, la isla bonita. cha-cha!
And when the samba-HOLY HELL!!”

I looked at my left bicep (or gun or python, if you will) and I had a bruise. Not the ‘oh it’s a bruise’ type bruise.
This was ugly.

*looking at the bruise* it’s about five inches across and three inches wide. Most of the skin looks yellowish/green and the center looks like blood that wants to break through the skin. It looks like a balloon filled with blood and I could prick my skin with a needle and a neat trickle of blood would come out.

Yeah it’s pretty fucking cool!

Later that day I was showing my co-workers my badge of honor.
“Whoa what happened there?”
“I don’t know” as I have proud smile ear to ear.

I went out running on Tuesday and was showing off this natural tat off at the gym. “Betty” wasn’t there. Actually I haven’t seen her in a month or so.

I’m sure (and I don’t mean to be discriminatory…but I am) that 95% of women would look at this and go, “EEEEWWWWWWW GROSS!” and forbid to look at it anymore.

For instance if I worked in an office setting and if I was talking to a female, I would -in the duration of my babbling- roll up my sleeve and purposely try to scare this female.

Man, life would be great then!

Seriously though, it looks like I have AIDs on my arm.

I’ve given this impressive bruise the name of Samantha and I know I only have so much time before Samantha is deported and turned into regular skin.

Therefore, I need to savor this time with Samantha…by scaring women…and rabbits.

Movie review tomorrow...hopefully

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