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Friday, July 15, 2005

If I Were a Rockstar

Every day I get in the queue (Too much, the Magic Bus)
To get on the bus that takes me to you. (Too much, the Magic Bus)
I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile. (Too much, the Magic Bus)
Your house is only another mile. (Too much, the Magic Bus)

If I were a rockstar participating in a charity event with tons of other rock stars…


This is what I would say.

“It ah, It’s really, really cool that we’re here ya know? I just want to say that there is a lot of… uh. *starts playing a quick, generic melody on guitar* a lot of erosion going on in the world. As you all probably know, erosion is uh, a really big deal.
Every time it rains there’s erosion uh, somewhere ya know? If we can generate enough uh funding to set up even one of those little uh, fences-*corrected from a stage hand* I mean ‘erosion fences’-thanks dick-then we could help save some uh, habitat.
I want to thank you all for being here today-on the BEAUTIFUL DAY EH? *waits for crowd support* Yeah it’s a beautiful day and you all are very beautiful people for being here. You all and your love…and affection… and just uh, tenderness altogether because love will keep us all alive and help power us to fight erosion on all counts.
Irregardless, don’t get me wrong. We don’t, uh, NOT want to send the wrong message though. We’re still all for hard rains irregardless of what that whore Mariah Carey says.
This next tune is about love and how it affects us because here, right now, I can feel your love. I can feel that guys love and that woman’s love. I can feel *looks at the frowns from his band mates* I feel uh love in general. With all this love we can move mountains and that’s all we need.
All we need is love.
Anyway, this next tune was fueled with love. It’s called ‘I’ll Tear You a New Fuck Hole’.

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