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Monday, July 04, 2005

Most Awesomely Worst Coverage Ever

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray


Some outlets described the occasion as ‘stars colliding’ in terms of how one person and attract the biggest acts from all over the globe.

9 concerts with over 100 bands from around the globe just to influence 8 world leaders without asking for money. It was definitely something to watch on a Saturday afternoon.

Except that if you didn’t have high speed internet, you really couldn’t watch it. The concert was simulcast on MTV and VH1 where they showcased their Video Jockeys (VJ’s) and commercials more than anything.

If you were a fan of any band that performed in Philadelphia, or even one of the ‘big’ acts in London, odds are you are furious at these music networks.

Let’s say you are a world renown wood carver in Billings Montana. You own a newspaper called ‘Woodcarving Weekly’ where you talk about the different aspects of woodcarving. Then one day Jarvis Brown, a respectable woodcarver, wants to gather all the best woodcarvers in the world and carve wood for a cause right there in Billings, Montana.

You now have all the talent in the woodcarving world at your fingertips, so you’d think that you’d give awareness to the cause and showcase all the wonderful woodcarvings from around the world.

You think you would.

Instead you just publish your magazine with stories on how great you are and how you greatly helped the last cause all while publishing pictures of your wife in lingerie made out of cardboard.

That is essentially what MTV/VH1 did…Kind of. (bad analogy)

You were very lucky to watch even a full song from any acts in Philadelphia. You were lucky to catch the huge acts in London! However, if you enjoy watching Kurt Loder, Vanessa, Sway, Rachael Perry, and John Norris--you were in luck because in an hour of broadcasting you watched about 25 minutes of these VJ’s talking, 5 minutes about the cause (perfectly appropriate) and another 5 minutes of music. The rest being ads for L’Oreal, Noxzema, and Real World advertisements.

Meanwhile the other Viacom networks (Vh1 classic, MTV2, MTV hits, MTV Jamz, VH1 country) were all showing the same ole stuff…while six concerts from around the world were being held.

When MTV did show a particular song they would air about three minutes and just before you started to gain interest in the song MTV would cut to their VJ’s talking about how great that song is (which is still going on behind them).

*shakes head*

I MEAN REALLY!

I understand that AOL (whose coverage was superb) had all the rights to the show, but I’m sure Viacom could’ve thrown a bunch of money in AOL’s way and shown concerts from all over the world on their numerous music networks.

By watching MTV’s coverage you missed great performances from around the world.
You missed how the Canadian fans booed the crap out of Celine Dion (very funny btw).
You missed the great joke in Philadelphia that Will Smith told about how the ‘Philadelphia concert was the best one of the Live 8 concerts. Nevermind London, Canada, or Paris. You guys are witnessing the best’.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Basically London owned all the other concerts with Madonna, REM, The Who, Elton John, Paul McCartney, and U2.

It’s funny though.

Speaking of the who and MTV’s terrible coverage,
The Who were playing ‘Wont Get Fooled Again’ and MTV CUTS AWAY FROM THE SONG.

They cut away from Wont Get Fooled Again right in the middle of the song.

The cut to--yes you know who--the two VJ’s who were ecstatic about The Who’s live performance…which wasn’t completed yet.

SO SHOW THE FUCKING CONCERT!!!!!!

Then (and I promise this is the only PF reference) during the solo to Comfortably Numb…

THEY CUT AWAY AGAIN!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The solo that is regarded as one of the best in rock history, which hasn’t been performed live in that particular set up ever!

AND THEY CUT AWAY TO TWO VJ’S TELLING US HOW AMAZING THIS MOMENT IS!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

OH…AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
BLAH….AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHA

If you happened to be in the middle of nowhere in the US you probably heard the faint screaming of,
“YOU FUCKINGS MORONS! YOU STUPID FUCKERS! FUCK YOU ALL (or y’all depending where you’re at) TO FUCKING HELL! Coming from millions of people thousands of miles around you.

So apparently they showed one commercial and immediately came back to the solo without any sort of ‘bumper’ because I can only imagine the Viacom boards being inundated with thousands of forehead vein popping, pissed off fans calling some part time secretary on Long Island.

MTV/VH1 dropped the ball on this concert.

The concert that really doesn’t take a genius to air.

For a concert like this, all you need are about 8 cameras, maybe one VJ (if that), and taped messages about Africa and the G8 summit.
No commercials.

THAT’S IT!

Because there is something wrong with airing a concert giving support for Africa and filling 20 some minutes an hour with Noxzema commercials or other make up products.

The whole point of the concert was to give awareness to the poverty in Africa and MTV shows make-up commercials.

(blink:blink)

MTV had the opportunity to win back support that they have lost since they aired Live Aid.
They had great opportunity to come back to their roots and play a major role in such an influential concert.

They had the opportunity and they managed to produce the worst coverage a network could possibly give.

A Dalmatian on steroids could present this concert!

MTV and VH1 have big issues.

The concert was great and tomorrow I’ll tell you about Pink Floyd’s performance.

Of course if one of the 8 leaders votes ‘nay’ then it’s all academic anyway.

1 comment:

Orbitron19 said...

I can't comment too much because I watched about two hours of the concert online (you can see the running commentary on my blog), and I had to go pick up my GF from the airport, so I missed the rest. I was shocked to get back in front of a TV at 8PM and see that it was already over! By the sounds of it, MTV did a complete fuck-up. I guess they're just going to soak us for the DVD. (I can't WAIT to see Celine get booed--and then fast-forward to U2)