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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Babe Rankings

Gimme a bet and I’ll take it
I’ve got twenty bucks that says I’m gonna make it
I’ve got twenty two fifty in the bank
and I’d bet it all away given the chance


I think it may be time again-wait.
*checks wind conditions with a whetted finger*
It seems to be a prime moment for…-hold on.
*notes the clouds gently drifting toward the northeast*

It’s time to rank some babes again.

I’ve already established the rules here, so I’ll just continue.

Also, I can’t remember if I have already evaluated these babes so bare with me.

Kirsten Dunst
She has always been a bit of an enigma because sometimes she’s cute and sometimes she shows signs of a butterfacedness (or whatver). She has shown signs of cuteness in movies like Eternal Sunshine and Drop Dead Gorgeous. She also has her butter face moments like here, and here, and here.
I don’t know what to make of her. I think she looks great as a red head in Spiderman.
Oh, and then there was this scene, which she looks amazing. However she doesn’t have a good smile

Therefore…

5.5 and Pretty (sometimes)

The woman on the new ‘Fridays’ commercial
I’m talking about the commercial where the waitress takes the dudes platform shoes and places them on the wall.
Yeah, she’s breathtakingly hot. She definitely takes the torch as the new Subway ‘Opah” girl or the Best Buy Rolling Stones ‘kiss the employee’ girl.
From the 15 seconds I have seen of her, she can do no wrong.
Great smile, just wonderful! Whenever I see this commercial I give this woman a standing applause for such beauty

10 (pretty, cute, beautiful, hot) that’s right, everything!

Kate Hudson
Hmmmm…. Nothing. She does nothing for me.
She’s not ugly, but she’s nowhere near any of the four categories. If I saw her in public, I probably wouldn’t even give a double take, and her topless scene in Almost Famous was dismissible.
That’s not a good sign.

Again it‘s not like I get the dry heaves and shivers like when Sarah Jessica Parker is on tv, but I can’t find anything attractive about her. She’s kind of got the face of Jodie Foster’s alien love child and no decent features for a body.
3 (nothing)

Janice Dickinson
You may know her best from her role in the new VH1 crapfest known as the Surreal life. At first she’s a knockout, hottie, boombalotti. Then I actually saw a clip of her getting her makeup on.

*shudders* That wasn’t a good site. She may as well make a mask and wear it all day for the show because her make-up artists just paint a good looking face on her flesh.
Bleh.

She’d be a solid 8 if she wasn’t all fake.
2.5 (fake hot, which counts for nothing)

Kelly MacDonald
Who? You may ask. Well, I was watching this really stupid movie called The Girl in the Café and she happened to be ‘that girl’. The movie seemed to be by some crazed U2 fan who took notes on everything Bono would say in terms of advocacy and use it for statistics in this film.
Pretty bad IMO.

MacDonald though could be one of the most attractive people I have ever seen on film. She looks fantastic, always looks great (even when she’s supposed to be a depressed, lonely café girl), and she’s got a great Scottish accent.

Her accent is outstanding and I could have hearts racing around my head to her taking out the trash.
I think she is my prototypical woman
10 (pretty, hot, beautiful, and cute) everything again (although I’ve seen an hour in a half of her compared to 15 seconds of the ‘Fridays’ girl

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