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Friday, August 12, 2005

A Casual Trip to Dairy Queen

I've walked these streets
in a carnival
of sights to see
all the cheap thrill seekers
the vendors & the dealers
they crowded around me


Things were silly-crazy from 3-7pm and I needed to sit down, eat some lunch, and think about fantasy football. All that got old really fast, so I stared out the window for a half hour and thought about the weekend, the massacre known as Twins @ White Sox next week, and camping.

A half hour later I thought, ‘Fuck this, I’m going to Dairy Queen’ because it seemed to be a ‘Dairy Queen’ type night.

I enter the car and think,

Man, it goes without saying (or thinking) that I need to get a big-ass blizzard because I want one, but what kind? Should I try the double fudge brownie thingy? I want to. I really do, but how can I go against my roots? For years I have had the Oreo cookie blizzard because that’s what I get. I can’t stray from what I know! If I’m going to pay $4 I’m going to maker sure I get my moneys worth and an Oreo cookie blizzard is worth it. After all, you don’t want to be one of those foofy types of people that puts brocoli and *gasp* pineapple on pizza do you?

“NO I DON’T!” because I usually talk to myself in the car.

I pull into the Dairy Queen parking lot when I get second thoughts.

That double fudge cookie thingy looks really good. How will I ever know how good it tastes if I don’t try it? Ooooh but remember that one lady that bought that banana split that one time? Mmmm, that looked really good. Fuck. It would be the coolest ever if they still had Joust in there. I don’t know what the hell that game was about but it was cool!

I start to pull alongside the speaker.

Oh crap, what am I gonna have? Mmmm double fudg-

“Can I help you?”
Here we go…
“I’ll take a--
Double fudge! Double fudge!!!
--Large Oreo cookie blizzard.”

“That will be $4.14. Please pull ahead” but there were already some cars in line keeping me at the speaker.

What about the double fudge? I guess we’ll never know will we?

“haha Nope!”

“Excuse me sir, did you say something?”
Bwhahahahaha
“Oh sorry, never mind”

…although a banana split would be kinda cool. I don’t think I’ve had one of those for at least ten years. I remember that Yukon cruncher blizzard. Now that was awesome.

I reach for the money in my pocket.

At what point does Dairy Queen stop raping us from behind? I mean 4+ bucks for a big cup of ice cream and cookies? That and that double cheeseburger combo is like 5 bucks! I mean you’d think that Dairy Queen could upgrade these barns and bring in more video games and produce some really glossy and shiney cups that I could eat my blizzard out of.

“$4.14”
“and here’ s your large Oreo cookie. And here’s your penny.”
“Thanks”

…Shiney, glossy cups eh?

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