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Friday, September 02, 2005

Fair Day

I see a woman in the night with a baby in her hand
Under an old street light near a garbage can
Now, she's put the kid away and she's gone to get a hit
She hates her life and what she's done to it

State Fair nuggets

-$9 entrance fee (per person)
-$9 parking (for everyone
-$5 roundtrip busfare
- hundreds of thousands of people
-the greasiest, most fattening foods ever
-every year has the exact same booths in the exact same locations
-rides usually take 5 tickets (1 ticket=$.75)
-people reserving front row seats in order to catch the channel 4 news 3 hours prior to the 5pm news.
-and gimmicks, gimmicks, gimmicks

I absolutely love the Minnesota State Fair. Love it. I consider a day at the fair--honest to god--better than Christmas. It’s the perfect end to summer and oh my, the people watching… I consider the yearly event to be nearly magical based on years of tradition.

The Minnesota State Fair is probably one of the most mind boggling topics to outsiders of Minnesota. It cost at least $9 to enter a heavily crowded area only to spend more money on booths that have been around for years (some of them have been around for 80years). The food is the greasiest stuff on the face of the Earth and everything seems to be ‘on a stick’. Still, we have to go.

Every year the cost to get into the State Fair has steadily increased a $1 a year and the food gets more expensive. Despite all that going to the fair is pretty much an “inelastic” cost (I knew microeconomics wasn’t a waste of money) because we have to go. If the price of admission went up to $20 I would still pay it. I would pay it because I *NEED* cheese curds. Take, for example, the ‘all you can drink’ stand. I remember when it was $.25 for all you can drink. Then it went up to $.50, $.75, and now it’s a dollar. So to actually make money, you have to stand there and drink a gallon of milk in about an hour just to try and rip off Kemps. Of course if you can drink a gallon of milk in an hour you’ll be my hero because I don’t think anyone can do such a thing. Prove me wrong though. Please.

It gets ingrained into us at a young age and the time of year compels everyone from around the state to drive out to St. Paul and spend money and get fat. It’s basically tradition and the one thing we can depend on change to never happen.

Take me for example, here’s what I’m going to eat

Luigi’s breadsticks
Sweet Martha’s cookies
All you can drink milk
Strawberry shake
French fries
2 slices of pizza
Cheese Curds.

Of course hopefully T will help me out with some of that but I’m guessing all of that is a smidgeon over 2000 calories. I’ve told my body to budget this kind of eating bendor for once a year at the end of summer. My body knows better because it has had 25 years of training.

Oh the ambiance, the lights, the people, the food, the ‘has been’ act at the grand stand, the people walking around in yardsticks, and the booths. Oh man it’s quite a feeling.
As a result of such binge eating I have planned and budgeted for two weeks on top of my thunder bucket.

Good day all.


Aliecat said...

Jeeze, you're not going to be able to crap for a week with all that cheese in you!

h said...

When you going out there?
-You know I'm working on Labor Day out there.
-You spelled pronto-pup as protopuff, difference?
-You don't have to spend any money on parking and busses - park at Rosedale or the U, get there free.

I luvs me some State Fair.

Eric Wormann said...

This post is a Jeff Foxworthy joke waiting to happen.

Boof said...

I'm going late on Saturday and possibly Sunday too.


ydelek said...

I lived in the Twin Cities for 6 years, and never quite understood the appeal of the State Fair. I think your entry helped my understanding.

I still don't understand how each year, a new food on a stick was unveiled. Deep-fried snickers on a stick, mac and cheese on a stick... Why?

Aliecat said...

Don't forget the newest invention this year...spaghetti and meatballs...on a stick...oh the humanity!

Orbitron19 said...

I've commented often on the State Fair, coming from Michigan--it's great that you have the tradition, but I don't think I'll ever get it! I hope you enjoyed every minute & calorie!

Hannes said...

I don't understand...mac and cheese on a stick? Spaghetti on a stick? How does it stay on? What kind of hoodoo is this!?

Aliecat said...

I think they mash it up in a ball, batter it and then deep fry it. Sounds delish, no?