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Thursday, September 15, 2005

This Actually Ticks Me Off

I shoulda known better maybe
Woulda seen right through ya
I needed you like a disease

You’ve GOT to be kidding me.

Did they just nix the idea of “Crispy” M&M’s? I know on the website they have them listed but between the 3 grocery stores I have looked, nothing. Nothing even resembling a blue M&M’s wrapper. (Tangent: grape bubblegum seems to have vanished too)

There’s regular, peanut, peanut butter, and some almond shit but no Crispy bags anywhere.
ANYWHERE!

Did they have to make some cuts at M&m corporation and some fucknut looking at a spreadsheet figured that no one eats crispy M&m’s and cut out the whole “crispy” department? I hope to christ someone at the local distribution center just “forgot” to order some as sometimes we are only human.

I mean it better be the latter because the phrase,
“Let’s get rid of the Crispy M&M’s.” sounds as wrong as
“I hope my entire family get’s crabs.”

Really, it sounds that bad. At least for me.

This is twice though. I figure God or “the great spirit” or whatever is sitting somewhere thinking,
“let’s just get rid of annoying addictions that Boof has. I had great joy taking White Cheddar Chez Nips out of circulation and watching him squirm. Now I can do the same with Crispy M&M’s.”

I mean while backpacking, crispy M&M’s are about as good as money. Every single, little crispy M&M goes so far. Every little witty, bitty crispy is a touch of heaven. It’s like a gentile sea at night with the full moon shining ever so forcefully over the horizon. Until a fuckin hurricane suddenly hits and the ass of some M&M executive burns itself through the atmosphere and decides to take a colossal dump on the moon.

What kind of a sick fucking bastard takes away Crispy M&M’s? Did those stupid, retarded “big ass” M&M’s take Crispy’s place? Better not because I’ll damn well write a pissed off letter with plenty of swear words.

God dammit!

3 comments:

Eric Wormann said...

peanut > crispy

Boof said...

blasphemy

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

I mean it better be the latter because the phrase, “Let’s get rid of the Crispy M&M’s.” sounds as wrong as “I hope my entire family get’s crabs.”

Couldn't have said it better!