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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Time for Football...Finally

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Team:

Frank M. (That’s actually my team name, Frank M.)

QB: Trent Green
QB: Steve McNair
RB: Willis Mcgahee
RB: Clinton Portis
RB: Chris Brown
RB: Duce Staley
RB: Tatum Bell
WR: Reggie Wayne
WR: Michael Clayton
WR: Ashly Lelie
WR: Santana Moss
WR: Chris Chambers
TE: Todd Heap
TE: Heath Miller
K: David Akers
K: Todd Peterson… (or whoever)
D: Carolina Panthers
D: Arizona Cardinals

Subjectively, I think this team will run away from all the other yahoo’s that are in my league.
Objectively, I think I have an ‘average’ team. For every position there’s about two standout, drop dead sexy picks and I didn’t catch any of those blue chippers.

Not to say that the season is going to suck but I did manage to grab some of the players that I wanted.
You may remember me last year whining every week about Reggie Wayne taking all of Marvin Harrison’s touchdowns and yards. Now I’m hoping Wayne takes all his touchdowns and becomes the number one target for Manning…for my benefit. See although Harrison had a great year last year his catches have decreased the last three years whereas Wayne’s has increased in those same years. Because I love to extrapolate such stupid stats, I think Wayne may actually become Manning’s go-to-guy. Hopefully anyway.

Then the tandem of McGahee and Portis playing every week is giving me a decent sized erection. Portis didn’t have that great of a year last year, but he still managed to gain over 1300 yards, which is crazy.

I actually will admit that my favorite pick was in the 13th round when I picked up Chris Chambers. See the guy didn’t have a quarterback, or a running back, or much of an offense at all last year. Still, he managed to gain 900 yards and 7TD’s in the process. This year he’s got a running game and a mediocre quarterback so that should at least take him over 1000yards.

The team name is actually Frank’s full name but because I know all the hitmen out there I’ll keep his last name out of this. Anyway Frank is actually in this league and he’s known for always having good luck, so I named my team after him. Also every week it’s funny because take this next week, the schedule says,

The Cosby’s Vs. Frank M. bwahahahahaha

Picks…at least for the game tonight.

Oakland @ New England
You know how worthless it is picking this first week? Take this game, Oakland now has one of the most dominant players in the league with Randy Moss. New England is missing pretty much it’s entire coaching staff and all it’s linebackers from last year. Last year I compared the Patriots to God and I found that the Patriots had the upper hand more or less because you can’t ever count out the Patriots. I’m taking Oakland because… I don’t know.
Raiders 31 Patriots 20

Speaking of which, I have asked my bloggin buddies to participate in a yearly round of football picks.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold, HTML goodness:
(Help: Why do I have all this space here?)

Week 1
Raiders @ PatriotsPatsPatsPatsRaidersRaiders

Tomorrow I'll talk Vikings and give my predictions. woohoo I know.

1 comment:

Eric Wormann said...

You should have picked more Redskins.