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Friday, October 07, 2005

0-4 Aaaarrrghhh (fixed)

Won't need to much pursuading
I don't mean to sound degrading
But with a face like that
You got nothing to laugh about


My team is terrible.

I hope “Frank M.” has a magical turnaround like The Deer did last year (with a different outcome), but my team is mediocre as hell. If far as I can see right now, I took way too many chances on draft day and have a roster of 2nd string wide outs and one kicker.

This week “Frank M.” will be lucky to score 30 points with the type of matchups they’re going to face this week. All my running backs are playing decent defenses and half my guys are gone in some shape. Carolina’s Defense sucks ass and what the hell was I thinking when I drafted the Arizona defense?

I think I know what the problem is, my guys are too jacked up. When the game starts they’re like kids 5 minutes after jumping in a bucket of nerds candy. Like Michael Bennett on opening weekend, I had to bench all my good guys just to calm them down.

I also think that I’m too overwhelmed with all the duties I go through on a daily basis being the owner of such a team. I mean I gotta check out the bullshit, made up stats on si.com and see what nfl.com has to say about this weekend and it’s just too much. I think I’m going to need to hire a couple “consultants” to help alleviated the load.

It’s weird, the team practices are perfect and they practice all the plays phenomenally yet on the field, they suck. Hmmm I believe the media is halfway to blame for my teams record. The local media is just SOOOOO negative and I know it’s worse than anything in New York or Philadelphia. I just wish people would cut me some slack is all.

Picks

Tampa Bay @ NY Jets
Jets suck ass
Bucs 34 Jets 6

Seattle @ St. Louis
I think Mike Martz must have Bulger on his fantasy team every year because all the Rams ever do is throw the ball. They have Stephen Davis but they never run the damn ball. Seahawks win based on my spite.
Seahawks 35 Rams 32

New Orleans @ Green Bay
I would love to have the Packers go 0-16 this year and their fans get exposed as the not-as classy fans as they’re drawn up. I have to think that Farve will go nuts against the Saints. Kenny Albert will end up cleaning Favre’s penis for such a spectacular performance
Packers 31 Saints 14

Chicago @ Cleveland
Not much to say about this game.
Bears 20 Browns 13

Baltimore @ Detroit
Huhuh.. Joey Harrington bwahhahaah AGAINST Baltimore’s DEFENSE? Hehe hahahha
Bwahahahahahaha *sniff* BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHOOAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ravens Defense 14 Lions 10

New England @ Atlanta
Hmmm this should be one fun ass game to watch. Everyone can whack off to Michael Vick until he scores a touchdown. Then when the Patriots take the ball, the people who come back to the game after finding snacks can whach off to Tom Brady.
Falcons 31 Patriots 20

Tennessee @ Houston
BUHWUHUHUHUHUHHU Joey Harrington Vs. Baltimore’s defense… aaaaahahahahahah
Titans 24 Texans 21

Miami @ Buffalo
God damn I hope McGahee breaks out at some point.
Bills 17 Dolphins 13

Indianapolis @ San Francisco
Why are they even playing this game?
Colts 37 49ers 28

Carolina @ Arizona
Hmmm I dunno Arizona for being at home?
Cardinals 23 Panthers 17

Washington @ Denver
Interesting. Champ Bailey and Clinton Portis matchup in a battle over who fared out better? This year it seems like the Redskins are winning that battle
Redskins 17 Broncos 14

Philadelphia @ Dallas
I can’t go against the Eagles anymore. They continue to impress me.
Eagles 27 Cowboys 17

Cincinnati @ Jacksonville
Thank GOD this is the Sunday night game because I really want to see this game. Very good matchup, but I think that the Bengals defense will be the key.
Bengals 27 Jaguars 21

Pittsburgh @ San Diego
Everyone give ABC a round of applause. They finally managed to get it right for one fucking week. Two quality teams fare off on Monday night. When was the last time that happened?
This will be another good game
Steelers 27 Charger 24

Last week I, again, rocked everyone on picks. Currently I lead
Yeah baby! BOOO-YAAAAA. BOOOOM SHA-KA-LAKA


Week 5
EricHannesAliecat46,XYBoof
Tampa Bay @ NY Jets
JetsBucs

BucsBucs
Seattle @ St. Louis
RamsRams

SeahawksSeahawks
New Orleans @ Green Bay
Packers
Packers

Saints
Packers
Cincinnati @ Jacksonville
BengalsBengals

Bengals
Bengals
Chicago @ Cleveland
BearsBrowns

Bears
Bears
Baltimore @ Detroit
Ravens
Ravens

Ravens
Ravens
New England @ Atlanta
FalconsPatriots

Falcons
Falcons
Tennessee @ Houston
TitansTitans

Texans
Titans
Miami @ Buffalo
Bills
Bills

Dolphins
Bills
Indianapolis @ San Francisco
Colts
Colts

ColtsColts
Carolina @ ArizonaPanthers
Panthers

Panthers
Cardinals
Washington @ Denver
Redskins
Broncos

Broncos
Redskins
Philadelphia @ Dallas
Eagles
Eagles

Eagles
Eagles
Pittsburgh @ San Diego
ChargersChargers

Chargers
Steelers
Last Week(8-6)(9-5)(5-9)(8-6)(10-4)
Overall(29-31)(33-27)(28-32)(13-47)(34-26)

6 comments:

Eric Wormann said...

Yeah, ummmmm, you might want to double check the table with the picks.

Orbitron19 said...

Dude, my fantsy teams (both) suck ass, my picks suck ass--there's a reason I work in baseball!
I must say, we had a lot of laughs this week with the Detroit sports talk callers openly hoping that Ray Lewis tees off on Joey Harrington. He's going to wet himself on Sunday. I can't wait to watch!

Boof said...

I thought you were going to be at the Big house to watch the goofs play michigan?

Boof said...

Maybe it's a good thing you didn't go.

Sounds like sun shone down on a dog's ass

bigg_pappa said...

Boof, what I really want to know, is how your great football mind works in reality. And by reality, I mean a game. And by a game, I mean BiggPappa rocking your squad's ass three ways til Monday, Tom Landry wannabe. I've got a crew that rolls deep, I can rollout and pass the bomb and then run down there and catch it myself, if I have to.

We'll see how Daunte does next week, otherwise I might go drop by Wayzata's HS team practice where I hear Tice's kids play and show him what I've got. I've been looking for a new job anyway; I could handle working for slightly less than Mr. Get Your Roll On.

Gopher pride!

Aliecat said...

I've been participating in college picks on another blog, and I seem to do better with those? Is it the curse of the NFL? Hmmm...I'll get my picks in today if there's still time.