I don't mean to sound degrading
But with a face like that
You got nothing to laugh about
My team is terrible.
I hope “Frank M.” has a magical turnaround like The Deer did last year (with a different outcome), but my team is mediocre as hell. If far as I can see right now, I took way too many chances on draft day and have a roster of 2nd string wide outs and one kicker.
This week “Frank M.” will be lucky to score 30 points with the type of matchups they’re going to face this week. All my running backs are playing decent defenses and half my guys are gone in some shape. Carolina’s Defense sucks ass and what the hell was I thinking when I drafted the Arizona defense?
I think I know what the problem is, my guys are too jacked up. When the game starts they’re like kids 5 minutes after jumping in a bucket of nerds candy. Like Michael Bennett on opening weekend, I had to bench all my good guys just to calm them down.
I also think that I’m too overwhelmed with all the duties I go through on a daily basis being the owner of such a team. I mean I gotta check out the bullshit, made up stats on si.com and see what nfl.com has to say about this weekend and it’s just too much. I think I’m going to need to hire a couple “consultants” to help alleviated the load.
It’s weird, the team practices are perfect and they practice all the plays phenomenally yet on the field, they suck. Hmmm I believe the media is halfway to blame for my teams record. The local media is just SOOOOO negative and I know it’s worse than anything in New York or Philadelphia. I just wish people would cut me some slack is all.
Tampa Bay @ NY Jets
Jets suck ass
Bucs 34 Jets 6
Seattle @ St. Louis
I think Mike Martz must have Bulger on his fantasy team every year because all the Rams ever do is throw the ball. They have Stephen Davis but they never run the damn ball. Seahawks win based on my spite.
Seahawks 35 Rams 32
New Orleans @ Green Bay
I would love to have the Packers go 0-16 this year and their fans get exposed as the not-as classy fans as they’re drawn up. I have to think that Farve will go nuts against the Saints. Kenny Albert will end up cleaning Favre’s penis for such a spectacular performance
Packers 31 Saints 14
Chicago @ Cleveland
Not much to say about this game.
Bears 20 Browns 13
Baltimore @ Detroit
Huhuh.. Joey Harrington bwahhahaah AGAINST Baltimore’s DEFENSE? Hehe hahahha
Bwahahahahahaha *sniff* BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ravens Defense 14 Lions 10
New England @ Atlanta
Hmmm this should be one fun ass game to watch. Everyone can whack off to Michael Vick until he scores a touchdown. Then when the Patriots take the ball, the people who come back to the game after finding snacks can whach off to Tom Brady.
Falcons 31 Patriots 20
Tennessee @ Houston
BUHWUHUHUHUHUHHU Joey Harrington Vs. Baltimore’s defense… aaaaahahahahahah
Titans 24 Texans 21
Miami @ Buffalo
God damn I hope McGahee breaks out at some point.
Bills 17 Dolphins 13
Indianapolis @ San Francisco
Why are they even playing this game?
Colts 37 49ers 28
Carolina @ Arizona
Hmmm I dunno Arizona for being at home?
Cardinals 23 Panthers 17
Washington @ Denver
Interesting. Champ Bailey and Clinton Portis matchup in a battle over who fared out better? This year it seems like the Redskins are winning that battle
Redskins 17 Broncos 14
Philadelphia @ Dallas
I can’t go against the Eagles anymore. They continue to impress me.
Eagles 27 Cowboys 17
Cincinnati @ Jacksonville
Thank GOD this is the Sunday night game because I really want to see this game. Very good matchup, but I think that the Bengals defense will be the key.
Bengals 27 Jaguars 21
Pittsburgh @ San Diego
Everyone give ABC a round of applause. They finally managed to get it right for one fucking week. Two quality teams fare off on Monday night. When was the last time that happened?
This will be another good game
Steelers 27 Charger 24
Last week I, again, rocked everyone on picks. Currently I lead
Yeah baby! BOOO-YAAAAA. BOOOOM SHA-KA-LAKA
|Tampa Bay @ NY Jets||Jets||Bucs||Bucs||Bucs|
|Seattle @ St. Louis||Rams||Rams||Seahawks||Seahawks|
|New Orleans @ Green Bay||Packers||Packers||Saints||Packers|
|Cincinnati @ Jacksonville||Bengals||Bengals||Bengals||Bengals|
|Chicago @ Cleveland||Bears||Browns||Bears||Bears|
|Baltimore @ Detroit||Ravens||Ravens||Ravens||Ravens|
|New England @ Atlanta||Falcons||Patriots||Falcons||Falcons|
|Tennessee @ Houston||Titans||Titans||Texans||Titans|
|Miami @ Buffalo||Bills||Bills||Dolphins||Bills|
|Indianapolis @ San Francisco||Colts||Colts||Colts||Colts|
|Carolina @ Arizona||Panthers||Panthers||Panthers||Cardinals|
|Washington @ Denver||Redskins||Broncos||Broncos||Redskins|
|Philadelphia @ Dallas||Eagles||Eagles||Eagles||Eagles|
|Pittsburgh @ San Diego||Chargers||Chargers||Chargers||Steelers|