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Thursday, October 20, 2005

Genuine Quick Bits

Once divided. Nothing left to subtract.
Some words when spoken can't be taken back.
Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking.
Future's above, but in the past he's slow and sinking.


-My Dad works at the same place I work at and the day after eye surgery everyone looked at me and asked me how it went. I’m thinking my pop either sent out a lengthy email or told everyone he knew of my surgery. He totally sucks at the computer so I doubt he sent an email. I totally appreciate the concern but I am more concerned about how fast the word spreads and who told them. I took the day before off for undisclosed reasons (for the surgery) and I never told anyone at work here about said surgery. For those that know me, that’s where I get my ‘rumor pit’ mouth from.

-Dairy Queen pumpkin pie blizzards are awesome. Except don’t buy the large because that’s too much pumpkin pie goodness. The blizzard works a lot like pies in that you can only have a couple pieces before the pie starts to work against you. God damn deceiving pie.

-As I was driving up to the DQ drive through, I noticed that the breeze was just right and the air so cool enough that I could easily notice my exhaust fumes coming directly into the drive thru window at DQ. The bastard side in me wants to laugh at all that CO entering DQ but that’s just wrong. Instead, I’m simply going to vow to never work at that DQ.

-A long time school chum called me up the other night and told me about her job, life, and generally how things were going. She told a work story that had something to do with her “office” meaning desk inside four walls. I asked her about this and sure enough she even has a lock on her door. I couldn’t listen to the rest of the story because I was so god damn jealous. Not that my job requires an office and not that I couldn’t find an abandoned office here, but damn, wouldn’t it be cool? I would, however, feel way too much at home in an office because I can imagine myself getting up from my computer and making a loud and obnoxious stretch while scratching my chest on and hourly basis. Then I would probably stop over to my neighboring office and do the ‘ask for a cup of sugar’ joke for the 8,000 time and laugh for five minutes as I make my way back to my office.
I’m just too immature for an office. I can’t even handle a desk with my “intricate filing system”.

-As I mentioned in yesterdays comments, I bought Bryan Adams’ new Anthology CD which was super cheap (big surprize). One of the selling points of the CD is that he sings “When You’re Gone” with Pamela Anderson. Pamela needs to stick to doing more of the cleavage and showing her boobies thing and less of the singing parts. For those that dislike Bryan Adams (I know there may be a few of you) this may be a song worth listening based on the likelihood that songs can only get better in general.

-The “Betty” made an appearance at the gym the other day. I was heading out (pardon the terrible pun) and she was entering. She’s still got it. Oh yeah baby she still does.

- Due to these artificial tears that I need to constantly insert into my eyes I always turn a corner with residual tears streaking down my face. So someone will approach me about someone and start talking to me like normal. Once I turn around and they see those tears and my eyes fully moistened, they automatically assume that I was crying, so they start talking empathetically towards me saying things really quiet and slow. My automatic reaction, to reassure them that I’m not emotional, is to talk loud and overly happy. Basically the conversation ends with the other peson thinking that I’m some crazy meth-head or something.

-Twins and Hunter have been in the midst of rumors about a possible trade. Even the New York newspapers have been talking about the though of Hunter being in Yankee pinstripes next year. One possible offer would be Robinson Cano for Hunter straight up. I would do that in a second. Hunter is highly overrated and not worth the $10 million that a team like the Twins would pay. He’s one of the best outfielders in the game but he sucks offensively. Some people argue that he’s the heart and soul of this team, well, lets not put him on the same level that Kirby Puckett was on. He’s definitely a leader but I doubt he’s going to single handedly bring and championships our way and I just don’t think he’s worth the money.

-How the hell can Ashlee simpson still have a “career’? How the hell would SNL even think about bringing her back? At least Bryan Adams doesn’t lip sync.

-Whatever happens in baseball I hope that the White Sox lose the series. They’re just not supposed to win.

-I remember when my Mom would make me dress up to go to church when I was younger. I would argue my contention about how dressing up was “not my style” and therefore totally fake. Such an argument fell on deaf ears and I would reluctantly pull over my Cosby sweater over my buttoned up shirt and tie. I understood the whole “respect Jesus” thing, but I really hated going to church and dressing up thus, I would always try to find something to complain about.
It seems very ironic that athletes in their 30’s are currently making this same argument and claiming racism with such an argument.

-I know I would be bitching too though if I was basketball players because knowing me (and I do know myself) I would probably be wearing my “Dirty Sanchez” shirt everyday with my typical jeans. Yeah, I would totally ask for more money and I would whine and cry just like I did to my mommy fifteen years ago.

-I actually corrected myself on that last sentence by changing “fifteen” from “ten” because… well I’m afraid you all (3 of you) wouldn’t respect me as much. Now you should respect me more for my honesty, right?

-I just demanded respect. Hmmm.

-I’m celebrating my birthday at the German bar on Saturday. As much as I tell myself that I wont get fucked up, I can feel the inevitable will happen. They give you 1 liter steins of hardcore German beer! You need two hands to hold the stein! Then the boot. How can you not drink out of the boot if it’s given to you? There’s already too many drunk pictures of me floating around.

5 comments:

bigg_pappa said...

Let me clear my throat.....

"Happy Birthday Tom, you're the motherfuckin' bomb,

Killed more cats than napalm in Vietnam, screwed a million ladies thanks to the really ..... good song,

Bigg Pappa's on the mic, whether or not you like, kind of pissed off ever since some stupid dicksnot stole my bike,

Wishing Boof a happy birthday, what are you three now? Pretty soon you'll have to learn how to pee in a seat now!

Pretty soon you'll have to get...eye surgery and shit -- oh wait, pardon me, you aren't that old..... yet?

I will try to join you at your party, we'll have the bitches on the tables dancing, and maybe a few on their knees,

Cause that's what Boof deserves, he's the king of the crop, the cream of the herd, and what BiggPappa speaks is the truth you hear? WORD!

Boof said...

Bigg pappa,
is the best

god dammit I wish i new how to rhyme.

Aliecat said...

How many birthday spankings should I give you?

Boof said...

oooh I'll tell ya after the first 10.

you dirty girl you!

bwahahahah "patkocx" was my word for verification. pfff waahahahahah

Aliecat said...

Hehehehe!

I know, I'm so naughty!