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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

If I Could Create a Band

Well c'mon everybody and let's get together tonight
I got some money in my jeans and I'm really gonna spend it right
Been a-doin' my homework all week long
now the house is empty the folks are gone
Ooo C'mon everybody

Here’s my dream band (dead or alive)

Percussion: John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
For the backbone of my band I need someone that has been proven to be an innovator in drumming both on and off the stage. Listen to anything Zeppelin has done live, listen to any album (especially the first) and you’ll know what I mean. “When the Levee Breaks” and “Moby Dick” are the two songs I would recommend. I wanted to select Keith Moon but that guy was too crazy. John Bonham is comparable to Moon in that sense, but at least he didn’t kill his chauffer.

Rhythm guitar/backup vocals/co-writer: Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen)
My favorite guitarist. EVH has traditionally been credited with only mastering his two-hand tapping technique, but if that’s all you hear you’re missing a great deal. EVH is spectacular in rhythm guitar it’s just that his rhythm is always covered behind the “WHOOS” and screaming of Sammy Hagar or the other crap that DLR. This guy could play anything he wanted on guitar and play it well. The two-hand tapping is cool but don’t do it in every damn song. In my band EVH will mostly be the secondary guitarist and help fill in on long, extended solo jam sessions. He’ll also help out singing back up vocals but never NOT lead.

Bass/co-writer: Jimmy Page (The Yardbirds)
He’s mostly credited being the creator behind Led Zeppelin, but before that he was in the Yardbirds as the bassist to Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck (how’s that for a lineup?). Because of his past bass work and the fact that I think any lead guitarist could easily play bass, Page will be the main bassist of my band. I would select an established bassist like Flea or Jeff Ament, or John Paul Jones, but I figure that Page could show EVH a thing or two about solo’s and perhaps drop the bass to wail away sometimes. Not to mention that I’ve been on a Led Zeppelin kick lately and to have a hypothetical band without Page is just not right. Plus, anyone that can come up with the stuff in “How the West Was Won” can probably come up with some sweet bass rifts.

Lead guitar/backup and lead vocals/co-writer: David Gilmour (Pink Floyd)
Eddie Van Halen can definitely give a great solo and Page is about a good as it gets, but for me it’s no one else than David Gilmour. Dave Mustaine said it best when he said that,
“Gilmour can do more with one note than most guitarists with an entire fret board.” and it seems to be true. Every solo he’s performed seem to be so simple and yet so beautiful. He’s also got a beautiful voice to match with his guitar playing. I’m willing to guess that working with Roger Waters and his lack of a voice only worked in Gilmour’s favor based on the easy comparison especially with a song like Comfortably Numb. Musically he can come up with fantastic albums and play a mean live guitar.

Visionary/main lyricist: Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)
How could I put Gilmour in my band and not put in Roger Waters? He’s the main architect behind most of Pink Floyd’s excellent concept albums and is phenomenal at metaphors and anything involved with an albums‘ focus. He definitely doesn’t have the voice and I believe he’s actually tone deaf, so he’s not going onstage with this band. I’m sure someone can piss off this guy enough that he can devote another whole album towards politics or some sort of social problem with some country in the world. He’s technically a bassist but it’s been rumored that David Gilmour performed most of the bass work for recording anyways.

Vocals: Rod Stewart
Okay hold on, hold on. Wait a minute and read this. Forget about anything he came out with in the 70’s…and 80’s…and 90’s--actually forget nearly everything he’s ever done and think about that voice. He’s got a great rock and roll voice it’s just that he’s never had the direction or the attitude to deliver rock music properly. He’s always had that mysterious other person helping him write songs and he’s always been the leader of being old pre-Madonna-type jackass singers.
Not in this band. Forget all the stupid dancing around, the weird gestures, and basically his whole stage presence because in this band he’s just going sing and be pissed off. Pissed off singers generally tend to be better and they don’t embarrass themselves by doing leg kicks and weird fucking dancing when they’re on stage. Nah, Rod’s just going to supply the voice of my band because he’s got a great voice. I was considering Robert Plant, but I don’t want my highly structured band to simply be Led Zeppelin. I was also thinking of John Fogerty, but I think he’s used up his three years of fame back in the late 60’s-early 70’s.

The band will mostly focus on all around rock music. Not the “rock” of today but hard nosed ‘drums-guitar-vocal’ type rock. The band will have a strong blues foundation and will not be afraid of changing it up a bit. Basically this will be Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and U2 mixed together. Lots of jams will be included too. Lots of jams.

This band will rock you so hard that your face will break apart!

6 comments:

Eric Wormann said...

This is my dream "rock" band, and I'm going to only use somewhat current artists.

Drums: Taylor Hawkins
The drummer for the Foo Fighters adds so much freaking energy to his playing, but knows how to quiet down and develop a feel. I know I sound like a girl for saying this, but listen to his work on Alanis Morissette's MTV Unplugged album. He MAKES that album. Listen to her crappy Jagged Little Pill Unplugged cd and see how much of a difference there is without him.

Bass: Tim Commerford
Listen to the beginning of Tire Me off of Rage Against The Machine's Evil Empire. Easily the best sound I've ever heard from a bass player. He's just really solid. I love players like Les Claypool and Victor Wooten, but standouts like that wouldn't blend well in a rock band like this.

Guitar: Dave Navarro
My favorite guitarist of all time, but not because I necessarily like everything he does. I just really respect that he still views the process of making an album as art. He doesn't care how many tracks he has to throw down to make something sound perfect. Listen to Jane's Addictions Ritual de lo Habitual to get a feel for how great he really is. And I don't care what anyone says, I liked One Hot Minute.

Lead Vocals: Pat Monahan
I love Train as a band, but if you listen to him sing their covers of Ramble On or Dream on, he's got a really great range and intensity in his voice for a rock singer.

Jason Mulgrew said...

these two bands would be the worst bands of all time. my god.

Boof said...

yeah? Worst as in, awesome eh? What's your band?

Eric Wormann said...

I want to change my singer to Jim Morrison.

Berg, no Bryan Adams? I'm shocked.

Boof said...

Nah, BA doesn't fit the style of my band.

I did, however, pick up his anthology and he sings a song with Pamela Anderson.

Pamela Anderson should stick to what she does best, showing he boobies.

Professor Batty said...

I actually saw the Yardbirds play with Jeff Beck on guitar and Jimmy Page on bass- and yes, you're right, he is a great bass player!