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Sunday, November 27, 2005

Charity Cards

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the ties that bind
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Just thought you all would like to know that for the game yesterday, I/we got to sit next to one Dave Dahl, the meteorologist of channel 5.
Yeah that’s right, he sat like two feet away from me. In fact at one point when I was trying to watch the Bears/Bucs finale, he asked me,
“Did he really miss that field goal?” to which I replied with,

Autographs, pfffff.

At least it was Dave Dahl and not Cyndi Brucato or ugh, Rod Simons, or anyone else that works at that god awful station.

Crap List

1. My Realitor
This guy just does not understand when to call me. The first call I received was on a Tuesday night @ 11:30pm.
I was still up at the time (I am a night person) but I really don’t want to talk house at that time of night and not to mention, what the fuck are you thinking? If it were a buddy or someone that didn’t want to talk business then yes, call me at 11:30pm. Call me at 1am if you like. I don’t remember the last time I was asleep at 1am.
Then yesterday he calls me at 12:30pm which is worse than 11:30pm because yesterday was football day. Not only that but the Vikings are playing at that time. DON’T CALL ME DURING THE GAME! Wait until after or before or better yet, another day all together, but not during the Vikings game.
If you’re a realitor, go fuck yourself and wait until I call you.

2. That new Alanis song.
I was watching some videos the other day when I saw some, what looked like, meth’ed out British woman doing some techno pop stuff. She looked vaguely familiar so I continued watching. As it turns out, it was Alanis.

I must say that I have been a bit of an Alanis fan the past couple of years. I feel she was definitely improved since her god awful cackling and screeching from her first album. Under Rug Swept is probably one of my favorite albums around and her last attempt wasn’t terribly bad. Luckily she hasn’t completely gone in this direction because this was just a single from her latest greatest hits collection.

I guess at least it’s different than the same old stuff.

3. The person who helped themselves into my car.
I park in a garage attached to my apartment and apparently I left my car unlocked one day. I came the next morning to my glove box and center console completely ravaged through. There was nothing to worry about because I don’t keep anything of value in my car anymore since I have been broken into twice before, but it just feels disturbing when someone else helps themselves to my stuff.

Actually it almost feels gratifying to know that they wasted the time and effort to help themselves to Dio’s greatest hits and a Bryan Adams CD. Actually, why the hell would they take those CD’s? Now I gotta buy them again!

4. The card my newspaper carrier left me.
It was nothing bad in fact it was a Christmas card. Inside the Christmas card was an envelope with her address already hand written in the “Send to” area.

So what? Do I have to send her a fucking card now? Is she begging for a tip?
The card wasn’t even anything but the typical “sign you name and seal” type deal which I am a bit against. You see, if you simply buy a card, sign it, and seal it up you are basically signing away any sort of creativity you have. Anyone can do that. What you are saying by doing that is that you spent $2 on a card and took the time to sign you name somewhere on the inside.

Total thought: one half second (if that)
Total money wasted on a wasted gesture: about five bucks with the stress of “Oh I gotta by so-and-so a card” and the gas it took to stop at the card shop.

So this leaves me to “What would I do if I was the carrier” question. I’d send a copied note or story to everyone. If my story is bad at least they think “he took the time to create something and said ‘happy holidays’ in the process. Then they would be like, “Wow, that was very nice of so-and-so! Merry Christmas” and bam, five bucks.

Also, I don’t “do” Christmas cards because I don’t have time to write a personal note to everyone I know and I don’t want to spend $20 on postage for a stupid, typical card. That’s why I send a nice email to everyone because I enjoy writing it and I believe the thought is there and it‘s free.

Then there’s the issue of tipping your newspaper carrier. I already tipped her when I signed up and I figured that that would be it. Now this silent “begging” is totally rubbing me the wrong way. Especially being a weekend subscriber.

I live in an apartment complex which is warm and convenient and has a long hallway with all our doorsteps. Basically all one has to do is grab a wagon or cart and drop the papers in front of our door. Why is that tipable?
Why is that worth extra money?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for tipping of waitresses and maids in motels, but I don’t understand this one. I also think about all the time she took --well not writing her name in the cards, but addressing all those envelopes that went inside the card. I don’t know if that deserves money but that’s gotta suck though.

Tomorrow I sing my praises for 'Walk The Line'.


Orbitron19 said...

Why couldn't it have been Karen Leigh....or Ann Hutchinson....

Orbitron19 said...

The only time I've EVER send out Holiday cards is when my girlfriend at the time decides to do it for me and sign my name.

(And your paperboy wants a tip or they'll help themselves to Dokken's Greatest Hits next time.)

What's up with people gettin' robbed? Are they looking for X-mas presents?

Newspaper Guy said...

In my grandparents and parents day, people tipped the people who provided daily services, such as mailman, newspaper carrier, milkman, etc. Now the only place the average person tips is in a restaurant.

Delivering newspapers is hard work for little money. Newspaper carriers work 7 days a week (no days off including holidays).
Then you get idiots who steal their neighbor's paper, especially in apartment complexes. When the customer calls to complain the paper charges the carrier a stiff redelivery charge (usually $5 per complaint). Since the carrier makes a few pennies for delivering the paper each day it's like delivering that paper for months just to break even.

And by the way, delivering in apartments is much more work than delivering from a vehicle where the paper is put in a mailbox or thrown on a lawn.

The envelope is a way of reminding people that a tip is appreciated for the daily service (or weekend service in your case, which is still 104 trips with a Saturday and heavy Sunday paper to your door in a year). It's not begging, it's just a reminder that a tip is appreciated.

I guarantee you the people who tip get the best delivery service.