Search This Blog

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I'm Gymless

She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
And points all her own sitting way up high
Way up firm and high

Is it wrong to join a gym just for the ogling?

Recently my mother snitched me out on another year membership at the community center and now I’m gymless. Ten years ago when the community center was built my dad bought a family membership for dirt cheap. Every year since he’s simply just renewed the membership by checking a box when the renewal slip came in despite me and my brother being well into our 20’s now.

This year when the renewal slip came in the mail, my Mom told them a little too much information. It was just enough information that I arrived to the gym yesterday morning to,

Boof, sliding his card in the reader…
Woman: I’m sorry sir, it says your membership has been cancelled.
Boof: Well, I never cancelled it.
Woman: let me make a call…

Woman: Molly said that your mom came in yesterday and said that you don’t live at home anymore and that you would buy your own from now on.
Boof frowns and makes a fist: Oh she said that huh?

Family membership (for up to 6 members of the family): $420 (one flat fee for everyone)
A potential membership for me: $480

So I would be paying more than my dad, mom, and brother combined and I think they have been to the gym about 6 times in the last six years. I usually go three times a week!

Like hell I’m going to pay that much though. The community center has a ton of benefits; close, gateway trail, and a huge basketball court but a bunch of old people go there and now they‘re making me pay money (thanks mom).

Of course me leaving means that ‘the betty’ will be gone. forever However, I am banking on the notion that the higher priced, huge ass gym in Woodbury will have a higher proportion of hotties than the community center ever had.

Then again, it is $50 a month to get all *ALL* the amenities, towel service, and a potential plethora of hotties. I think it could be worth it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I thought you were supposed to join a gym for the ogling? It's got me going 4-5 times a week.