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Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas Crap

This rage that lasts a thousand years
Will soon be, will soon be
Will soon be gone
This is a kind of magic


I’ve been tagged by Alie. Therefore I need to write about the “5 weirdest habits about myself” and then I gotta “tag” 5 others to do the same.

I don’t know how weird these are but I think someone might think they’re weird.

1. I walk very fast. The only time I know this is when I’m walking along side anyone and they’re either huffing and puffing or they’re twenty feet behind me.

2. I eat systematically. This was first pointed out in college whenever I would be eating with anyone.
“What’s wrong with your burger?” one would say.
“Nothing, I haven’t gotten there yet.”
I will always eat my fries and then my burger- never both. It’s just something I’ve always done.

3. I am obsessed with the moon. I will always look for it, stare at it, and make a conscience effort to go out and watch a full moon. It wont be out of the ordinary for me to watch the moon for a couple hours.

4. I cannot stay in my apartment (or wherever I live) for more than a couple hours (other than sleeping). I need to get out and do something, anything. That’s why I go to the gym, go shopping for quick items, and take drives.

5. When I enter a building I will always look for:
-The ductwork
-Where the return and supply ducts are
-where the supply fans are
-how big the ductwork is.
All thanks to my job. Even when I was in the Xcel Energy Center last Thursday I found myself looking up at how everything was done.

Anyways, I pick Ron, Hannes, and Eric (even though he doesn’t do that stuff on his blog) so go and knock yourselves out.

Crap List

1. “Do I give that person a gift or don’t I?”
When this question comes about I usually don’t buy one and it has come to bite me in the ass in the past. The problem is mostly coworkers and acquaintances (role players) because I have a lot of role players in my life and it’s hard enough shopping for three people let alone these other people who I kinda know.
It’s a hard subject to approach because you don’t want to be a dick and ask,
“Uh, are you getting me a present for Christmas or not?”
And then things get very uncomfortable. At least for me.

And if it’s not that there’s the “how much do I spend on person X” because they may give you a present that they paid five bucks for while you’re looking at something for $50. And that always leads to a little awkwardness when the time comes to unwrap presents.
I think I just may buy some Little Debbys just to be safe.

2. Fuck Face
When we last left you Fuck Face was really pissing me off. Now I had a legitimate gripe and I confronted him with my superior.

The problem is that an item is completely wrong and I don’t want to be blamed for the engineering of the job. I tell Fuckface the problem and he give some ridiculously dumbass answer. It’s so bad that I really wanted to show the guy a 4th grade science book about how heat rises and then throw the fucking book at him.

So I confront “have a meeting” with the guy with my superior. I show him this item and how heat has an effect on this item and apparently heat isn’t the problem.

What?

Oh yeah, it’s how the item is installed because then heat wouldn’t have any sort of effect on this item.

I held back, not trying to be condescending in the least bit. Fuckface had this long-drawn out reason--which was COMPLETE bullshit--and my superior basically plays the ‘do what he tells you’ card.

Have you ever worked under complete idiots? It will drive you insane!

Anyways Fuckface learned the error of his means and instead of saying,
“oh, yeah I fucked up. I’m sorry.” he’s going behind my back and having another department fix something else to remedy the item just to prove me wrong. And of course my superior doesn’t have a clue.

God I need a vacation.

3. Me for giving my finger an “owwie”.

So I’m heading into the bathroom stall and I slam the door on my pointer finger and the thing swells, and swells, and then before I know it I have stinky puss coming from behind the nail. I didn’t notice until I was watching Friends late at night while eating Doritos and I caught a whiff of my finger and…yuck. I turned on the light and sure enough, there was a bit of puss spewing from underneath my fingernail.

I hate it when my finger gets all big and fat and hurty and when puss comes out of it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

don't go all out for my xmas gift, you can't top the bag of funyons you got me last year

h

Aliecat said...

Fast walking, yep, kinda tough for me to keep up with fast walkers cuz I've got really short legs.