Tattoo your name on my arm.
I always said my girl’s my good luck charm.
If she could find a reason to forgive,
Then I could find a reason to live.
Tbone: “Doesn’t Viagra like screw up your liver if you drink excessively?
Raymond: Then stop drinking.
Tbone: “Just because I had Viagra doesn’t mean I’m going to stop drinking!”
That was probably the quote of the night from Hog’s Christmas Extravaganza. Tbones liver didn’t explode nor did he admit having an erection, but it may have been covered up by the adult diaper he was wearing.
The main feature of the Extravaganza is the gift exchange where everyone buys a gag gift and they randomly get tossed around to everyone at the party. This could’ve been the best year ever with the gifts.
-An Arnold Schwarzenegger DVD “Pumping Iron” along with a 2.5lbs. Weight.
-A 5 pack of adult diapers
-A cheeseburger with one bite already taken out of it.
-license plate clips with Taco Johns salsa packets. One seeled pack and one already opened
I bought this Jones Soda holiday pack which includes Turkey and Gravy Soda, Brusselsprout soda, Wild Herb Stuffing soda, and Pumpkin Pie soda. It was originally $12 at Target around Thanksgiving but I’m sure no one bought any and they were on the clearance rack for $6 last week. I actually thought it was a good gift because I was interested in how Turkey and Gravy soda (or Pop as we say) tastes.
I tried all of them and: Surprise! They all tasted like crap. I was very disappointed.
Anyway everyone woke up on Sunday morning randomly passed out on Hog’s floor with ripped up wrapping paper, adult diapers worn out and thrown randomly, a half eaten cheeseburger lying around, and cans of empty beer cans everywhere. It was beautiful.
Hog’s girlfriend, had she been conscience at the time, would never have let that apartment get to that point, so if you have an opportunity, you take it! And run with it or whatever.
I did get a great gift from Hog though. He found me some grape Big League Chew somewhere and I have finally reacquainted myself with a long lost friend (grape bubblegum).
What a great Christmas so far!