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Monday, December 05, 2005

The Luck Ran Out

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone

Saturday, 1:30pm
Phone rings…

E: I was wondering if you had any plans for January 1st?
Boof: Ah well I uh was going to celebrate New Years Day.
E: I mean are you going to be in town here or do you have any travel plans?
Boof: nah, I’ll be here.
E: Well would you like to watch the Vikings/Bears game…from the lower level?
Boof: (pause) What? What you talking about?
E: You know what I’m talking about. I got tickets to the game and you’re the biggest Vikings fan I know, so I’m inviting you.


And that’s when I screamed and squealed like a happy little pig. The Bears/Vikings game at the end of the year, the game that may decide the division or possible playoff births, and possibly the biggest game of the year.
And I’m going.

However I’m mostly thrilled that someone would spend big money on tickets and think of inviting me for such a game. I offered to pay for half but she wouldn’t have any of it, which doesn’t help my conscience one bit.

That whole day I was glowing, I truly felt blessed and happy to be alive (I know, it’s sad). I would be walking around the grocery store and break out into a huge smile while dodging the fat muumuu wearing bitches in the frozen foods section. Simply put: I was under a powerful drug of gratefulness.

Which leads me to the crap list

1. Life at the casino on Saturday night.
Like I said before, I was glowing on Saturday. I also didn’t have anything to do that night and was itching to get out of the apartment. So I was feeling lucky, had nothing to do, and was kinda thirsty.

Casino time.

Being the conservative gambler I am I figured that instead of taking the usual $40 to the casino, I would stretch out the funds a little and go with $60 that night. The thinking was, I was already extremely lucky with E taking me to the game, so winning at the casino would either: A) Winning and declaring that day an personal holiday forever or B) getting financially raped at the casino and being ‘put in my place’ as a result of a generous friend and my winning streak at the casino.

It was horrible.

First table
I dropped down a $20 and lost 4 hands within 4 minutes.

I then switched tables because I usually end up hating the dealer and want to run the hell away.

Second table

Slapped down a twenty and lost it within another 4 minutes.

Total time at the casino: about 15 minutes (with a little walking around).

Ran, got the hell away and went to a third table.

Third table
This was actually a decent table. I ended up wasting about 30 minutes before I lost all my money.

I had now spent about 45 minutes in the casino or the time it takes just to drive to the casino.
I was shaken, tenderized, and the spontaneous smile turned into laughter because I couldn’t believe the shitty hands I had. Wow did I ever suck!

Definitely one of the worst casino experiences I have had.

2. The GM of the Texas Rangers
Last summer when the Twins were looking at acquiring Alfonso j the GM asked for Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano. Baker and especially Liriano are Blue chip pitching prospects and are worth a ton on potential alone. In fact, there are some scouts that say that Liriano has a better changeup and fast ball than Johan Santana…of right now. Liriano was also the minor league player of the year, which is usually a good determinant for future all-stars.
I didn’t blame Terry Ryan one bit for passing up on that trade. Now the Rangers are looking to get rid of Hank Blalock whom is a decent third basemen. When Ryan asked about acquiring Blalock, the Rangers asked for Liriano.


The Rangers GM must be putting crack rocks in his Rice a Roni because that’s insane. Soriano for Liriano is at least a realistic trade. Blalock for Liriano is just ridiculous and the idea that he can’t reason with the Twins makes me want to punch this guy in the face.

3. The lower tier bowl games
Like the Music City Bowl which the gophers are going to. If the people that live here don’t feel the need to attend the home games, why would they travel to Nashville? Especially on a holiday?
These lower bowl games just seem like they are for contract extensions and more meaningless statistics.

Music City Bowl, what’s the damn point? Might as well crown both teams with The Loser Crown.

4. Jeff Feagles
There’s nothing more bullshit than a damn punter achieving the ‘most consecutive games played’ feat. The Vikings, Jim Marshall had the record by being a defensive lineman for 282 straight games. A couple weeks ago the Giants punter overtook Marshall for the all time lead. A punter.

What really pisses me off is when the Vikings played the Giants and how Feagles barely even made an attempt at stopping Mewelde Moore’s punt return for a touchdown. If I remember correctly, as Moore was running out of the pile of players Feagles was in Moore’s way of a touchdown. Instead of making an attempt to take Moore down, Feagles basically stepped to the side while lifting his arm as Moore blows right by.

My theory, he didn’t want to risk losing his precious streak. He sacrificed his team for his own personal streak. What a fucking douche!

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