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Thursday, December 15, 2005

QB's

When the feelin' is ended
There ain't no use pretendin'
Don't ya worry - it's only love


-This weekend is the 5th annual Christmas drunk fest that me and the buddies have in St. Peter. This year it didn’t take me nearly as long to buy a gift as it did in years past. In years past I bought an inflatable sheep, a Wu Tang Clan shirt, and gay porn. Last year I had no idea what to buy and I settled for a bunch of Hello Kitty folders inside a trapper keeper thing and on the folders I had a bunch of swear words written in pen.

This year I bought something that is not related to sex (at least I don’t think it is), but I know I would be happy if I got it!

-I just bought Queen Live from Wembley Stadium. I feel very confident when I say that Freddy Mercury is, without a doubt, the best front man ever. Ever.
When a music DVD gets your heart pumping you know it’s good!

-I’m going to the Wild game tonight so I had to take a night off of work. The night off couldn’t have came at a better time because work is getting as frustrating as ever. Seriously, it’s just getting sickening and I have been contemplating taking a month off just to grab some sanity and not live life as a vampire.

-The night off is great because I can spend all of today shopping for presents and getting a sweet Antoine Winfield jersey. I can then arrive at the Xcel arena and grab hot dogs without a line because that’s part of the benefit of sitting in the club level.
I should wear a top-hat or something.

-I went shopping for vacuum cleaners last weekend and holy god damn crap is that a bit overwhelming.

Sales lady: Can I help you?
Boof looking blankly at all the vacuum cleaners: uh yeah I’m looking for a vacuum cleaner
Lady: Do you want one that cleans carpets, bagless, one with lots of extensions, or a name brand?
Boof: I want one that sucks and can clean up all my pizza crumbs.
Lady: ooookay, well here’s this one that can clean steps and it comes with a HEPA filter which never goes bad.
Boof: Since when did vacuum cleaners come with HEPA filters? Actually let me tell you where I’m coming from, I’ve been stealing my parents vacuum cleaner which was bought about 20 years ago. It’s a stick with a bag attached to it and it sucks. What do you have that compares to that?
Lady: well, basically everything here is better than whatever you were describing

These new vacuum cleaners look like something out of The Jetsons. They look like little time machines or devices that will make you eggs in the morning. It’s a little creepy. At least it kinda was for me.

So I bought this vacuum cleaner and it’s kinda cool. When you turn it on it sounds like a combustion engine from hell and the light in front is like a spot light. Also you can see all the shit it picks up because it’s all see through and shit. I never thought body hair, lint, and dust could look so cool especially when it spins around and everything. It makes me want to vacuum more.

-Why do some women keep their boyfriends a secret or never ever mention them sometimes? I just don’t get it.

-I was in the library on Monday when I saw season 10 of Friends and I knew I had to get it. I really didn’t want to take it either, but I knew I had to get the show off my case because I think 10 is the last season.

I have now watched all of Friends seasons 8,9 and half of 10 and it’s like a damn drug. I don’t like the show anymore than when it was on tv, but the way how each episode is connected makes you want to watch more.

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