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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Smoking about Crap

He could not help but hang his eyes
her beauty held him so.
If this was not a state of Grace
then, Grace, he'd never know.

Holiday went great!

Now on to the bitching.

Crap List

1. Packers and Vikings
I watched the whole Packer/Bears game hoping the Packers would win and I felt really, really dirty. Basically I have come to the conclusion that Brett Favre sucks complete ass and it shouldn’t even be a debate whether he should retire.

When you’re 38 years old and you throw at least 28 interceptions, you probably should retire. Favre threw one of the worst/weakest passes I have seen in awhile with that interception returned back. And what the fuck was with that guy wearing a “Tigger” costume?

Clearly the weirdest feeling was rooting for the Packers and knowing your relatives were rooting--to a lesser extent--as much as I was. It was, however, fun mocking the role of a Packer fan,
“Oh don’t worry Hog, we got the magic of Lambeau behind the mighty Pack.”
“Oh and don’t forget we have one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the world in Brett Favre.”

It all went to crap because the Packers lost anyways.
Not that it really mattered in the end because the god damn Vikings lost to the Ravens killing all playoff hopes and making next weeks game more meaningless than a preseason game.

I guess there’s nothing to say about that game except that Brian Billick makes hilarious facial gestures. Especially when he’s pissed off.

2. Minneapolis repeals the smoking ban
First of all I want to say that it is completely retarded to have a hardcore ban in Hennepin (Minneapolis) county and not in Ramsey (St. Paul) county. Basically when they banned smoking from all establishments in Minneapolis all the smokers migrated to St. Paul where they were allowed to smoke. The bar owners in Minneapolis were then losing money from the lack of smokers and a bunch were about to go under.

For the record they should’ve banned smoking in the entire metro area because it will eventually happen one day.

When the smoking ban was in tacked though, it was unbelievable. You could walk into any bar in Minneapolis, any bar on E block, head right over to the bar, and breathe in, breathe out, and it’s all fresh air. No stinky clothes the next morning, no annoying smokers blowing their stank in your direction, and no used butts anywhere.
In my opinion, it was one of the best decisions ever.

A couple weeks ago the ban was repealed due to the lack of business and those smokeless bars are now filled with smokers.


Think of it this way, imagine everyone decides to go to White Castle BEFORE bar time and everyone decides to eat 20 sliders. Also imagine that the methane that is blown out of our asses come bar time and given stink lines to point out where all the smell of ass is located. Lets say that for years it’s a norm to go to the bar and blow ass from the sliders you just ate and the lingering stink lines and scent of ass completely fills the bar.

I don’t know, that would be pretty annoying and disgusting.

Yet make that story more realistic (normal stinky methane, no stink lines, no health problems from second hand ass smell, ect) and smoking is still more disgusting, unhealthy, needlessly expensive, and addicting.

It’s like all the crack heads voting for a “no crack tax“ in Metropoapolis and winning.

Those analogies are very shaky, I admit, but I don’t understand how Hennepin county could be so stupid as to allow it and not think of St. Paul.

3. NBA on Christmas
Forget it David Stern, there’s no way the NBA will come close to rivaling the NFL in ‘traditional games on holidays’. You can hype the games as much as you want, but I’m just not going to care about it.

Kobe scores 62 in three quarters? What a ball hog
Spurs Vs. Pistons in a rematch of the ‘05 Finals? Were those the two teams in the finals?

Here’s a stat that you’ll never hear from ESPN,

NBA average attendance per game: 16,459

NHL average attendance per game: 16,723 (despite the year long NHL strike all of last year)

Yeah that’s kinda telling isn’t it?

I got some dumb (but funny) gifts so I’ll talk about them tomorrow.


American Lung Association of Minnesota said...

Good news -- the ban has NOT been repealed in Hennepin County.

This is a bit complicated, but here goes:
1) The Hennepin County ban was slightly ammended to allow a limited number of establishments (75 at most) apply for an excemption in 2006. This ammendment will disapear in July 2007, and the old ordinance will be in force.
2)NOTHING changes in Minneapolis, Golden Valley and Bloomington, as these cities have bans that OVERRIDE the county ban.
3) The City of Saint Paul is considering a ban just like Minneapolis, if passed, it will begin in March 2006.

Boof said...

that's awesome!


Orbitron19 said...

BTW, Props for the "Fire Millen" tag at the top of your blog. In Detroit, it's nuts. "Fire Millen" Chants have popped up at Red Wings Games (Home and on the Road! In Washington, Atlanta and Columbus).
The signs are at every MSU & U-M basketball & hockey game too.