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Monday, January 09, 2006

I Beat Hog. Again

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything


They say it’s hard to beat a team three times in one season.
Actually, it’s pretty god damn easy. Bwahahahahahha

Good game, good game

AND THE PRESIDENT’S CUP STAYS WITH ME!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Crap List


1. ESPN and Texas
On Wednesday when I had “Rose Bowl Fever” (as some of my co-workers say) I had the privilege of watching that great game. Before the game all you ever heard about was the 34 game winning streak by USC, Matt Lienert, Reggie Bush, Pete Carrol, Three peat, and the past two heisman trophy winners. Meanwhile ESPN constantly would post polls about all time college teams between the 2005 USC team and whatever other all time time. USC hadn’t played Texas and they were already being compared (and analyzed on the air) with the best teams of the past twenty years. Texas winning was considered a “huge upset” by ESPN.

I would call that a lack of respect. Texas, on the other hand, were also undefeated, played a tough schedule, and had a great quarterback (which really didn’t see half as much press as Leinart) and they still were overlooked. Don’t get me wrong I don’t care for Texas at all. In fact I usually root against them, but this year they were certainly worthy of objective reporting. I mean they did beat Ohio St. in Columbus.

Anyway, after the Rose Bowl, Vince Young briefly states how Texas was overlooked and the ESPN analysts were all up in arms,
“Oh I disagree with that mark. We always gave Texas their due.”
“I think he was a little of base with that comment. We love Texas.”

What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. If you compared USC to past national champions, you overlooked Texas. If you actually analyzed the best offensive teams to USC, you overlooked Texas. If you actually acknowledged those stupid polls, you overlooked Texas. Now I see they actually replaced USC in those polls with the 2005 Longhorns.

Shameless, completely shameless.

God damn why does ESPN have to suck so much?

2. Brady Quinn’s sister
What….is with all the attention? Yeah she’s A.J. Hawk’s girlfriend and Brady Quinn’s sister but SHE IS NOT GOOD LOOKING. In the hottie spectrum she’s on the Sarah Jessica Parker side than anything close to the overstock.com woman.
I could walk out to the mall right now and pick out ten women that look better than her SO QUIT SHOWING HER ON TV!!!!
When they showed her on TV just about every person around her looked extremely more human.
If anything, all her makeup makes her look really god damn ugly.

3. “I don’t disagree”
I’ve heard this on national TV more than I would like to hear. Using a double negative with only a three word sentence is quite remarkable. It’s quite stupid too.

If any professional radio talk show host or columnist or anyone that speaks in public uses these words: fire them.

I thought everyone knew the fundamentals of the English language but the national analysts apparently do not.

4. Dudes Wearing Pink Shirts
I went out shopping on Saturday to celebrate the first time I willingly wanted to leave my apartment. I went looking for decent clothes and I noticed that there are quite a few pink dress shirts on the racks.

If you are a guy and you own a pink shirt you either: A.) are gay B.) are blind or C.) are owned by your girlfriend.

No self respecting guy wears pink shirts. Anywhere. Not even on Easter Sunday. I know some women believe that a man is more comfortable in their masculinity by wearing a pink shirt but if that’s the case, how far does it go?

If a guy can wear a clown outfit and still say that he’s comfortable in his dignity that’s either completely stupid or extremely brave. Actually it’s not either. It’s just stupid. If a woman gets off on a guy wearing a pink shirt, tell her to listen to Johnny Cash’s 'Cocaine Blues' and shut the fuck up.

Pink shirts look stupid on guys.

4 comments:

Eric Wormann said...

I use "I don't disagree" all the time at work. Blockbuster has terrible policies, and the customer is usually right to complain, but I'm not allowed to say that, so the best I can do is say, "I'm not going to disagree with you, but this is how I have to handle it."

Anonymous said...

tom,

fuck you - own a pink striped dress shirt - it does in fact rock. and none of your reasons hold.

h

Boof said...

h,h,h


wtf?

Anonymous said...

h = having real job

real job = looking nice w/o looking like every other geek at work with jc penny wrinkled shirts and pants.

it's all about style baby. i got the shit by the handful

h
'dropping hamiltons like i was aaron burr'