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Friday, February 17, 2006

I Laugh at Begging

The bright light is lying down
The earth and the sea and the sky
Is at rest with the ocean
And the days go by


Phone rings……

UofM woman: Hello Tom, I’m calling on behalf of the U of M alumni association (oh god) and I would like to ask you a few questions about your current status.
Boof: ah…ok
Woman: do you still live….and go by the number….?
Boof: yup
Woman: and what did your degree help you get a job in right now?
Boof: Well, actually I’m still looking for a job in natural resources. Most of my fellow graduates are in a similar boat I’m in and they have thousands in student loans due.
Woman: **fake laughter**yeah I know I have a friend who went to SCSU and it’s been a couple years of doing other things and she’s still looking.
Boof: yup I know the feeling.
Woman: and when you were at the U what sort of scholarships were you involved in?
Boof: pffff none.
Woman: Well that brings me to my main reason for this call (here we go). The university is seeking for more scholarships so that we can….We were wondering if you would like to pledge $250 for this program.
Boof: hahahah hmmmm let’s see. Bwahahahahahhahahaahahha I think I’ll donate $1000--no wait--make it $2000 WAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA…
Woman: sir?
Boof:…HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA You expect me to contribute $250 even after I told you that I hadn’t found a job yet? BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Woman: sir?
Boof: AAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAahahahahahahah heehawed he he. Ahem bwahaha *cough, cough* ahem ahh heheh eh. Sigh. Ok I’m done. hehe
Woman: Well, how bout $200 instead?
Boof: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABLAHAHAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLHABLAHBLAHBLAH WOOOOOOHOOOOOHOOHOHOOOO. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE….

Well, I didn’t do all of that. But I wanted to.
I really wanted to reply with “Well, why don’t you talk to Glen Mason about contributing? I heard he makes almost $2M a year from you guys.” but I didn’t.

The whole thing just makes me want to throw up.

1 comment:

Orbitron19 said...

That's TOO funny! Colleges practically rape you for money and then they ask for more? I'd never give a dime to my school. They couldn't even give me $5 for a $60 book.