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Monday, March 20, 2006

Hell in a Hand Basket

When you're down is where you find yourself
When you drown there's nothing else
If you're lost you'll need to turn yourself
Then you'll find out that there's no-one else

Crap List

1. “Student” athletes
Watching the tournament and ESPN’s new documentary “Through the Fire” I just can’t help but to get worked up over the bullshit that is college sports. My main beef is the scholarships and the “free ride” these athletes are givin. It would be one thing if all of these students used these scholarships to their fullest advantage, but a lot of them do not. To a lot of these pseudo students, it’s just a requirement to keep their grades up so they can play their sport and they treat it like a chore or go the other route and take “indoor/outdoor breathing 101” or “underwater fire safety” to get that passing grade.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some true student athletes out there and I can fully understand how tough that would be to study, train, practice, and perform. That’s definitely something to be proud of and they are taking full advantage of the opportunity given. Hats off.

But others…
They’ll take a year of cupcake classes and then pull out early for the NBA (or NFL or whatever) and that scholarship is completely fucking wasted! These athletes are getting terrible scores on the Wonderlic tests and they’re in college because they can toss a football.

I know it’s the pink elephant that’s always been in the room but that last sentence just seems completely ludicrous to me. Have you seen the Wonderlic test? Good god, elementary kids tear through that test!

Beyond that, people actually want them to be paid too! PAID! As if a $30,000 (or more) scholarship, great living facilities, and all the tutors they could want wasn’t enough.

How bout this, let’s just stop with the bogus “Student” athlete term and just have these big money sports as what they are: minor leagues sponsored by Universities. Lets take away the scholarships to the athletes that don’t want/need them and give them to some student that would use it. For these non Student athletes, pay them, do whatever makes them happy since they refuse to accept a scholarship and take a great opportunity.

For the normal students that will have student payments for decades after they graduate (if they graduate), having to wait in long lines to find the classes they want, having to inconveniently schedule and pay for tutors, pay up the ass for books (that’s another crime), and dealing with that rip-off Aramark crap it’s just a shit deal and on top of all that, these normal students have to pay the ever increasing tuition to cover for these coaches contracts every year.

I gotta get off this topic before I get a headache.

2. “So how’s life?”

This is the question asked by acquaintances after not seeing you for over 3 years. Basically it’s as if you have to suddenly stuff the last three years in a blender and figure out if the product is good or bad.

I always have trouble with this question because I figure unless you’re Brad Pitt (Bradley beat Pitt yesterday btw) and you’re in the middle of a blow job from Angelina Jolie with Jennifer Aniston is on the other line begging you to take her back, you’re life probably could be better.

Then the your reaction of “eh…” or “It’s ok” just seems completely pathetic. I mean really.
It’s like you can’t help but to think about all the anxiety attacks, not having a day job, worried about Mom and Dad breaking up, and weird social paranoia, and numerous other things that don’t quite make life perfect… but other than all that, I’m just great!

That’s all I can stomach for today. I think it’s time to rate some babes later this week.

Stay tuned yo!

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