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Friday, March 24, 2006

Vikings Moves

Yeah, don't think that I'm complaining
Sometimes it keeps on raining
Oh but don't be frightened by thunder and lightning
The sun comes out and the flowers grow
And you find you're already on the road to be happy

I guess I should talk about football for once. With all the headlines the Vikings have been making with their trades and signings, I want to throw in my two cents.

Duante Culpepper
I’ve been a huge Culpepper backer ever since he’s started and there’s always been a huge debate over this guy here in Minnesota. Basically people believe that he can’t win and that he makes too many mistakes. We’ll it’s hard to argue that point because for every decent season, he’s had a couple awful ones. As for the trade, I think the Vikings fared pretty well. What the national media wont tell you about is that the guy had almost had his whole leg severed off and it was very questionable if he was going to play this year (let alone start). Plus, the Vikings were due to give him $6 million for a roster bonus, which they were going to pay, but Daunte was being a prissy little baby bitch.
Despite having three ligaments damaged and the whole love boat fiasco, he still asked for a big damn raise and he wouldn’t come to Minnesota for the coaching staff to monitor his progress.

Again, I’ve been a huge Daunte backer but that’s bitchy behavior. Plus, with Brad Childress dealing with Terrell Owens last year you’d think that everyone else would be cake. Well apparently not Daunte.

So I don’t mind that deal at all

Steve Hutchinson
Yeah Vikings pretty much completely fucked the Seahawks. It was pretty fun to watch too with the Seahawks signing Shaun Alexander who I’ve always thought was a product of his line anyway and not franchising Hutchinson. So the Vikes made an unbelievable contract to which the Seahawks could match if they want to guarantee the guy $49 Million and seven years (wont happen).

So the Seahawks try to get around the clause by restructuring contracts and an arbitrator still ruled in the Vikings favor. Bwahahahah basically we took their pro bowl guard, screwed up their other contracts, and did quite a number to their awesome line after they signed their ‘ACL tear waiting to happen’ running back to a nice contract. All while not even giving them a compensation pick.

Damn, the Vikings might as well send them a mason jar full of shit while they’re at it.

What’s funny is, the Seahawks are trying to counter by signing Nate Burleson who was basically the Vikings 3rd wide out last year. The deal with that though is the Seahawks would have to give the Vikings a 3rd rounder! BWAHAHAHAHAH you can have him!!!!

It was beautiful work

Other signings…yeah the Vikings are actually spending money this year!

Chester Taylor= haha the guy has barely played the last couple years. He doesn’t have the 1400 carries that the other running backs have plus, he’s going to have Hutchinson, Birk, and McKinney on the left side to run behind. PFFFF PUT ME AT RUNNING BACK if that’s the case! God damn now we actually have a running back instead of 4 halfway decent guys that all do one thing decently. Praise the Lord!

Tank Williams- I like this guy basically just because of his name, Tank. I mean that’s just completely awesome. Folks if you’re looking at baby names and you can’t decide between Nathaniel and Sabastian, name the kid Tank because Tank is a name you don’t want to mess with. (*thinks* Tank Berg, ah ha now that’s freakin awesome!)

Tony Richardson= Any guy that blocks in front of Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson can come play for the Vikes any day. Even if the guy is 35.

Mike McMahon=I really don’t give a damn. He’s a backup so whatever.

The way I see it, all the Vikings need is an annoying white guy midget reciever. If we have one of them we’ll be set baby!

The Vikings will pretty much rule the Earth at that point!

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