Somewhere in the distance I hear the bells ring
Darkness settles on the town as the children start to sing
And the lady 'cross the street she shuts out the night
There's a cast of thousands waiting
As she turns out the light
So I stop by the apartment office to grab some mail when the office manager hunts me down.
Manager: Hey Tom, what storage locker did we give you again?
Boof: it’s (so and so) why?
Manager: And what did you have in there?
Boof: My computer and--
Manager: ahhhh you may want to go check it out.
I thought it was an interesting request but when I noticed the police officer sitting across from her desk, I knew something may have happened.
Now the computer I had in there was my old one: ‘99 Gateway, 4 gigs, 64MB of RAM, and windows ‘98. I placed it in my unlocked storage locker just to keep the stupid thing out of my apartment. I figured that it was pretty safe there because I couldn’t give it away if I wanted to.
I walked to my storage space which I haven’t seen since I dumped my computer in there. I opened the door and bwahahahahahah
Thank god for dumb ass criminals because they certainly saved me some money and an annoying Saturday afternoon of hauling that dumb thing to public works.
I rushed up to the managers office elated with a dorky grin and blurted out,
“bwahahaha It’s gone”
“I’m sorry sir.” Says the cop. “How much was it worth do you suppose?”
“I would say about negative $30.”
Reasoning is because it would’ve cost me about $15 to dispose of the monitor and another $15 to dispose of the tower due to hazardous waste and it really didn‘t work at all. If someone wanted to set everything up I suppose they could wait 30 minutes for Windows to load up and then struggle with all the freeze ups and the incredibly slow processor. Oh and the monitor would constantly need to be bitch slapped because a connection inside was going bad.
“Aaaaah I’m just going to say it was minimal loss of $50. How’s that?” Said the cop
“That’s awesome dude!”
What a person would want with that piece of junk is beyond me but they took everything--mouse, keyboard, monitor, and tower--everything. I do have a little of that environmental guilt in that whoever will probably throw it away and not go through the motions but hey, I’m the victim here.
Seriously, if someone walked up to my door and asked me to take my computer I would probably ask them to come in and offer them a drink or something. I would probably tell them all the reasons why they wouldn’t want that computer and screw up my opportunity of giving it away.
One thing though, I’m thinking of locking that locker just so they don’t bring it back. That would indeed be totally undudely!
Unfortunately, I think my number munchers CD was still inside.