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Monday, May 08, 2006

A Ticketmaster Rant

When I breeze into that city,
people gonna stoop and bow
All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how,


Do you realize how much Ticketmaster sucks ass? I swear they’re the worst run business in the world. They’re pretty much the mafia of entertainment seating and I know somewhere they have a door that says “Ticketmaster Customer Service” which is a gigantic oxymoron.


So last night I went to purchase a ticket to the Pearl Jam/Tom Petty show on the first of the two shows they are playing in St. Paul. I already purchased fan club tickets for the 2nd night (which should be awesome as hell), but I wanted to buy a “cheapo” ticket to the Monday concert because…I hafta.

My friends already purchased tickets for that night and it’s still up in the air whether they can secure a suite so I purchased whatever was left. In my experience at the Xcel arena, there’s usually a bunch of tickets not being used and the ushers are nowhere even close to the Commies that run the Target center or the Nazi’s that run the aisles at the Metrodump so one can pretty much sneak anywhere except the floor. I have a bunch of buddies going to that show so I figure I can probably sit by them.

I did the online thing, bought tickets, and then noticed the “You have just bought tickets for the Tuesday, June 27th show” right after I confirmed the order.

Crap! I just purchased a ticket to the show that I was already going to. Of course Ticketmaster isn’t opened on Sunday and you can’t do shit on their website so I figured I could call up a rep the next morning, move my tickets to the night before, and everything would be fine.

Well, that’s what I thought anyway. Who would have thought that buying Pearl Jam tickets through Ticketmaster would be such a pain in the ass?

So I call them up bright and early Monday morning to talk to someone and I get the automated message and the whole “dial one for…” marathon. Finally I get to hold when I get the,
“All representatives are on hold. Wait time is greater than 5 minutes.”

Oh they're so informative! So I could be waiting for 7 hours since it is indeed “over 5 minutes“. So I stay on hold and they have the most annoying elevator music ever. After 15 minutes I figure they must have 2 people answering phones nationwide with one of them on break until noon. As I’m being put on hold I’m being told that,
“please go to ticket master.com for even faster service to check up on all your ticket needs”. On Ticketmaster.com you can view your order and email them-to which they will then get back to you in 12-24 hours *sigh*. So I stay on hold while I get into my morning routine of going to the bathroom, getting dressed, and watering my blasted morning glories all while my head is tilted to the side to keep my ear on the receiver.
As I was watering my stubborn morning glories, I then got the “hello my name is…”
I explained my situation as nicely as I could because I know how irate people can get towards ticket master and being nice to women always has its benefits. She then puts me on hold AGAIN so I can talk to her supervisor.

A couple minutes later I get this southern dude who sounds like he’s pissed off. Me, having a little northern accent, and him, with the extreme southern accent, were pretty much speaking different languages and our conversation was scattered with “Excooose me” and “Sorry ‘cain ‘stand yas”. It was almost like we needed an interpreter from Missouri or something.

He was willing to help me though it was grudgingly. He did find a ticket for my desired date but it was the most expensive ticket in the joint.
“Ah, could I find something with obstructed view or anything half as cheap?” Just like ticket master to help me out but only if it ultimately works in their favor.

I could hear a sigh and then--blip….

“hellooooo? Helloooo?”

YAAAAAAAAAH YOU SON OF A ROTTEN BITCH!!!!!

The fucker hung up on me. 35 minutes of waiting for a simple cancellation and purchase have now been wasted because some dude at Ticketmaster couldn’t be inconvenienced.

I was a little mad to say the least.

So I went through the whole thing over again. Instead of the crabby southern dude, I got a woman instead which was nice. I used all my might to be polite and kind and she actually came through.

God bless that woman and I hope she quits and finds a decent place to work.

1 comment:

Aliecat said...

OMG, I would have reached through the phone and cut his balls off...