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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Boof Vs. Giant Jug O' Milk

Oh my sparrow it's too late
Your body limp beneath my feet
Your dusty eyes cold as clay
You didn't hear my warning



I will admit right away that I got this idea from bat-girl's legovision so don't point at me and yell, "wannabe" or anything.

Today in the adventures of Boof,


It's the ultimate showdown between Boof and....THE GIANT JUG OF MILK IN THE OUTFIELD. We start things out at the new Twins stadium called 'Loni Anderson field' which is also nicknamed "The Lunchbox" with its uncanny resemblance to an actual lunch box. It's also called Loni Anderson's Lunchbox by the simple minded folks. Boof has plans to find his way inside the stadium and destroy the giant jug of milk!

Loni Anderson's Lunchbox and all it's glory (Hard to believe but I swear I'm not an architect).



It's even got a retractable roof.


Our Protagonist: The almighty Boof

The antagonist: Giant Jug O' Milk!


Boof: bwahahahah Today's the day that I will reach my glory! I only need to check into the ballpark which should be easy.


Usher: Uh I'm sorry sir, we can't allow you into the ballpark.

Boof: Why the hell not?

Usher: Well, for one thing you're green and look very suspicious. Two, you have a giant gun pointed at my crotch.

Boof: I most certaintly do not have a gu-oh, I guess I do have a gun-a rather large one at that. dammit

Usher: Try again next time you green freak! bwahahahah

Boof: dammit, it's not easy being green...and constantly pointing a big-ass gun at everyone. Sigh,
Oh well, I'll have to do my deed from outside. I'll use my mutant powers (like in X-Men) and destroy that huge piece of plastic!

Boof: GO-GO GADGET-HIBBITY DIBBITY-I'VE GOT THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL..uh GIANT BOOT GO SMASH...NOW...por favor!

The boot falls from the sky and simply bounces off the jug of milk.

Boof: Ah blast! My powers are of no match for the Jug of Milk! I'm all out of plays. It looks like I'll have to live with the Jug. NOOOOOOOO!

Boof: Wait a minute! That's it! I KNOW HOW TO DESTROY THE JUG OF MILK!

Boof: If I find the weak spot of the Jug of Milk perhaps I can weaken it to the point where the boot will be effective.

Boof: That's it! Lets try it again!

Boof: HIBBIDY DIBBITY DANCIN' ON THE CEILINGS SHE BOP-SHE BOP

CRUNCH!!!!

Boof: ah my day is done. I have finally defeated my arch nemesis. My work here is done. All that's left is to grab a couple dome dogs and fight little kids for foul balls. My work here is done.

dun dun duuuuuuun

To be continued?

8 comments:

Aliecat said...

Dude, you have way too much time on your hands (or have had too much reefer)! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Did you get into your mother's pain pills again?

Boof said...

y'all are just jealous! It's already been picked for a summer blockbuster.

y'all are on the edge of your seats, admit it!

The Steph said...

I just hope you recycled the giant milk jug after destruction. Otherwise that's taking up room in a landfill somewhere and I'm reporting you to the Landfill Abuse Agency, AKA LAA. Well, I will. After I found it.

Barry Metropolis said...

What would Joe Mauer have to say about you destroying his milk jug like that?

Hilarious.

Orbitron19 said...

TOO FUNNY!!!

Anonymous said...

WTF is wrong with you?

Ben said...

Good humor

twinsguy